A love that will never grow old
by VioletBaudelaire07
Summary: Hotch is falling in love with one of his team members. Contains spoilers for Season 6! H/R
1. Chapter 1

Ok, so this is the first chapter of a longer story. Only one chapter is going to be M because I'm not good with these scenes. Remember: Reviews make my day and will make me upload the next one quicker! ;) Do tell me if something is not understandable or if I made a mistake.

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><p>- CONFERENCE ROOM -<p>

He felt a little jolt of excitement when he leant back a bit, just a teensy little bit, to hopefully catch a tad of his subordinate's scent as he walked by behind the chair. To be accurate, he didn't even realise the leaning back, or the reason for it, and asked himself where the funny feeling in his stomach came from. Two seconds later Penelope started to talk about murders that had happened in Miami and what they knew about them so far. Hotch's mind was quickly distracted by the file that was laid on the table in front of him, and with relief he concentrated on the case that was to solve.

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><p>- PLANE (ALSO KNOWN AS BAU JET ;)) -<p>

"Why do you keep watching him?", he heard a voice from behind; he knew it was Prentiss.

Hotch felt a little jolt of guilt in his heart, but when he turned to her his expression was just a little worried. "Oh you know, I think Reid's not well. He can't concentrate and he takes more time outs than usually."

"Why don't you go and talk to him, then. Perhaps something bothers him. After all, you're his boss, that's your job."

"Yeah.", he said, feeling that he didn't want to. In fact, he had to admit that he had realised Reid's abnormal behaviour simply because he had watched him on a regular basis some time before it had started, and that he did not watch him because he looked ill. He wondered what that meant and whether it was really a good idea to get too close to him or not. One part of him seemed to be drawn to Spencer, perhaps a bit too much, and another part of him kept telling him he should keep away. But Prentiss was right, Reid was a member of his team and he was responsible for him. If he really was sick that meant his work was probably not up to the standard and that was bad for all of them.

"You know what, I'll do just that.", he told Prentiss and went over to Reid's seat. "Hey, can I talk to you for a mo?", he asked, hoping not to sound excited.

Reid looked up in surprise, made an awkward movement and the book he was reading fell to the floor. Clumsily he picked it up again, and Hotch saw him blush as he did so. "Oh sorry, I didn't... I mean... Yeah, of course you can. Do sit down, please."

Hotch obeyed. "Listen, I'm worried about you.", he said quietly, hoping that the others didn't overhear the conversation. "I noticed that you seem to be uneasy. Is there something that troubles you?"

Spencer flinched. "Oh no, I'm fine, really.", he said, trying to sound convincing. Hotch knew that it wasn't true. He knew his team member too well to be fooled by those words. He had seen the younger man blink and grabb his head whenever the sunlight hit his face. Something _is_ wrong with him, Aaron thought.

Spencer seemed to understand that the could not fool his boss, so he quickly added: "You know, I had a little headache before we took off but now I'm feeling better. I'm just a bit tired now, really. You don't need to worry."

Involuntarily, Aaron leant forward and put his hand on Reid's knee while he looked in his eyes. "Spence, I can see that you're not all right.", he said softly. "You can tell me, really." Only a few seconds later he realised that he usually never called his subordinate 'Spence', no one did, and quickly took his hand away. He couldn't look away from those dark brown eyes though. Reid seemed to be troubled and averted his gaze, but Hotch couldn't tell whether it was because of the sudden intimacy or because he didn't want to show that he was unwell.

"Really, it's nothing. Don't bother, I'm fine!"

"Spencer, if you feel ill, you shouldn't come to work, you know that. Your performance today might not be as brilliant as usual if you're not concentrated well enough. If you don't want to stay at home, at least tell me what's up!"

His subordinate seemed to hesitate a moment. "Well... it really is just a headache."

"So, you still have that headache, then? When did it start?"

Reid sighed. "Two days ago."

"Two days?" Had he really failed to detect that Spencer was sick for so long? No, he had to admit that he _had_ seen him avoiding and squinting at light whenever possible. He had just not thought about what this behaviour might mean. Aaron felt shock and a sting of guilt, while at the same time a small voice in his head said "So, why _did_ you watch him all this time?". To lock that voice in a far away corner in his mind he said aloud "This is far too long. Did you try aspirin? Have you been to a doctor?"

Spencer nodded, still looking at his converse shoes. "I have tried medicine but it only works for some hours and I don't want to get addicted to the stuff. This morning I went to a doctor and he made MRI scans of my brain."

"An MRI? Goodness, this could be serious, Reid! For all we know it could be cancer!".

Finally, Spencer looked up, fear in his eyes. Again, Aaron realised too late that his hand was not where it should be but had wandered off and was now resting on his counterpart's left shoulder. But just as he observed this he could not move for a fraction of a second, his hand seemed to be glued to the other's back while these brown eyes wiped away every thought in his brain and stopped time. The moment was interrupted when the tiny voice in his head came back, saying "Why do his eyes make your heart beat faster?" He ignored it again.

"Hey", he said softly and with a comforting voice, getting even closer to Reid, even if that meant that their legs were now pressed against each other, but Reid did not back away, "Hey, I'm sure it will be OK. Even if it is cancer, I'm sure it can be dealt with."

"No it can't. Most brain tumours are inoperable."

Reid hung his head again.

"Good lord!", sighed Hotch, and while his left hand automatically grasped Spencer's, he spotted his other hand resting on Reid's lower back. Apparently it had wandered off again without asking. He wouldn't move it for the world, though.

"Spence, I'm so sorry for being so fierce before!" Damn, he had used that pet name again. He really had to be careful now! ("Do admit it, you feel something for him!", whispered the small voice.)

"Oh, never mind, really, actually I feel a bit better now that I shared this. And please, don't send me home, I couldn't stand having to wait for the results all alone. They said it will take about four days for them to develop and analyse the scans."

"Of course I won't let you go home! And if you ever want to talk about this, don't hesitate, you can come straight to me, all right? You're much more than just someone who works with me ["Oh yes!", said the voice in his head cheerfully], you're my friend!" ("Friend?", asked the voice, "Do you really believe that?")

"I definitely will."

"Is that a promise?", Hotch asked with one of his rare gentle smiles.

"Yep, that's a promise!", Reid smiled back. "But please, don't tell the others. They'd feel so helpless and treat me like a baby... and perhaps it's nothing."

Aaron knew that this was not a good decision, because his whole team were Spencer's friends, too and he felt they should know that he wasn't feeling right. However, another part of him was shining with pride that his subordinate only trusted him and didn't want anyone else to know about their secret. ("That's because you have a crush on him, admit it!", said the little voice in his brain. This insight made his cheeks blush a little, and "That's rubbish!", replied the part in his head that he hoped was reason.) He decided to nod instead. "All right. It's your choice whom you want to tell."

"Thank you. I really appreciate this!", answered Reid. He actually did look a bit better now. Aaron hoped that he had been too concerned with his own pain to notice his supervisor's nervousness.

"Right, I won't keep you from reading anymore.", replied Hotch and got up, his left hand resting just a bit too long on Reid's, but he told himself that it had nothing to do with brown eyes or a certain smile but that he was just being compassionate.


	2. Chapter 2

**Hi everyone!**

**Last time I forgot to tell you that it all starts with the _Corazon_-case. It is all AU, obviously, since Hotch is not in love with Reid in the series (*sigh*). Nonetheless, I tried to mostly follow the events that we saw on TV, except for the last case in my story which I made up. Therefore it helps if you've seen Season 6. I noticed that I left out _The Thirteenth Step_ though, sorry for that.**

**Some moments are rather Torchwood-inspired, and I guess if you know the series you'll spot them right away. ;) If you don't know it: watch it if you can, Jack/Ianto addicts don't need photoshop!**

**Well then, off we go again:**

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><p>- HOTEL ROOM (MIAMI) -<p>

Hotch was alone in his hotel room. He started unknotting his tie and sat on his bed. This case was a really tough one. The disturbing things he had seen and the gross photographs were haunting him. The mussels in the victim's eyes seemed to accuse him of being too stupid, to bloody dim to find their murderer. He sat on the bed, rested his forehead in his palms, and tried to think of something else.

Reid had done rather well, he thought. He hadn't worked with him all the time, but there were no complaints from Morgan, which was reassuring. He realised that he was more exhausted than ever this evening, the pressure of the seemingly unsolvable case and Spence's illness being just a bit too much for him.

He changed and went to bed, but he could not fall asleep. He couldn't stop thinking about Spencer. Hotch didn't want his friend to die, not like that. He tried to reassure himself that he might not have cancer, but he felt the fear creeping in his heart anyway.

"Why do you care for him?" Obviously, the little voice in his head was back. "Why do you care that much?" Why did it always have to ask so many silly questions?

"Of course you worry," reason told him, "he's your friend!" Yes, Aaron thought, this was true. That must be it.

"Of course you worry," the tiny voice echoed, "you're in love with him!" Hotch sighed. That ridiculous voice in his head! That was another problem he couldn't solve. The things it said were obviously not true, and yet it made him feel weird and self-conscious. He was not in love with Reid, or with anyone else.

Even as he thought that, he felt his heart beat faster at the thought of his friend and realised he was utterly wrong. Could it really be? Had the tiny voice been right all the time? He had to admit that he liked to think of Spence's smile, and how childish he sometimes was. Those 'physics magic' rockets in the office for example... Just the thought of Reid made him feel good and the thought of his eyes made his heart beat accelerate even more.

No, this isn't right!, he suddenly thought. What about Haley? This really was not fair. He loved her, too, still missed her. Developing something like love for someone else just felt wrong. If she was still here this would never have happened, he was sure of this. Is his crush on Reid just the need for something physical?, he asked himself. The tiny voice stayed silent this time. Had he really ever thought about Spencer this way? He seriously doubted that. It had been utter bliss to hold his hand, the thought of gently touching his back was still fresh in his mind; he even yearned to do it again if ever possible. Yet at the same time he involuntarily closed his eyes to memorise the moment when they had looked in each others eyes and he had felt out of time, completely lost and yet safe. That was way more than just bodily needs.

"At last you got there yourself!", whispered the voice.

He felt how he became a little sleepy and his mind started to drift off. With a little smile he thought of how nice it would be to gently stroke Reid's throat. He bit his lip as he had the notion of placing a kiss there, too. How soft the skin would feel under his lips...

No, he interrupted himself, think of Haley, how would she feel now? He shouldn't be turned on, not by someone else and certainly not by a man. And he should really sleep now or he would be exhausted tomorrow as well.


	3. Chapter 3

- AIRPORT (MIAMI) -

He had been right. He was absolutely tired and it showed. He tried to avoid Reid whenever possible, hopefully without attracting attention to it because he didn't want his friend to think that he was actively trying not to see him. Spence might think that it was because of the headaches and that Hotch had regrets about what he had told him yesterday, when it really was about forbidden feelings.

In the evening, the team had finally solved the case and the murdering professor was arrested. Apparently, Reid's headaches hadn't ceased, but he still didn't seem to want to share his sorrow with the team. Hotch held that it would be appropriate to ask how he felt, yet at the same time he still felt uneasy near his subordinate; and now that he knew the reason why his stomach lurched every time he laid eyes on him he was even more uncomfortable.

Still, some part of him craved to be near the younger man whenever possible and almost automatically he directed his steps towards his friend as he was standing a little apart from the team.

"Hey, Spencer", he said quietly. "I take it your headache's still there?"

His subordinate just nodded in response.

"That was really good work with the professor, you know. It seems that I was wrong about you. Even when you're ill you're brilliant!"

There was that little smile again, uncertain and hesitant, and these wonderfully enchanting eyes! Hotch's brain suddenly felt slow, like it had been drugged, and he forgot what he had wanted to say next. The tiny voice had gone. But so had reason. His mind was completely blank. Vacant.

"Thanks, Hotch. That means a lot coming from you."

His stomach had decided to dance some kind of Samba, but still his mind seemed unable to produce anything coherent to say. At the end he went with "Well, it's good that it's over now, isn't it. One more case solved."

"What a lame response!", reason whispered, and the small voice moaned in despair. "That's not going to work!", it said "Don't you remember how to flirt?" – "No, forget flirting! Just get out of this situation ASAP, or someone's going to find out.", reason chid.

Reid seemed rather melancholic. "Yeah, I guess.", he responded with a sigh, his eyes fixed on his shoes again.

"You're not happy about how it ended, are you?"

Spencer turned and looked at Hotch. (The little voice cheered, and "Oh dear, not these eyes again!", murmured reason, and Aaron imagined it rolling it's own eyes) "No, that's not it. It's got nothing to do with the case. I just don't want to go home now. I mean... it's good that we caught the killer so quickly, but work and everyone's company kept me from thinking about myself. As soon as I'm home this horrible angst will come back again."

"You could come home with me, you know."

There it was. He had said something he shouldn't have! It was these eyes, they made him extremely dim-witted. Panic rose in his heart, and his mind was finally active again, frantically looking for an appropriate sentence to add. He felt his hands getting clammy with sweat. "Just... for dinner. Jack and my mother will be there, too. She often loos after him, you know. Er... Perhaps it could make you feel a bit better. I... Of course, you don't have to come if you don't want to, and... and if you've planned something else that's fine, too, really." ("For god's sake, stop babbling!", reason shouted. Hotch obeyed.)

Spencer smiled at him again, this time looking a bit surprised. "Actually, this would be quite nice. If you're okay with this, with you being my boss and all that."

Had it really worked? Had Reid really not spotted his nervousness? Relief flooded through his body and he relaxed a bit. "Oh. Good. Yes, I am okay with it. Fine. Dinner with me it is then. And I can drive you home afterwards."

"That's right, treat him like a lady!", snickered reason.

As Hotch went to their jet he felt a rush of excitement, even though he kept telling himself that it was not a good idea to be too close to Reid. The flight back home he spent talking to the other members of the team, and blissfully daydreaming about the evening he was going to spend with his friend. He carefully avoided eye contact, though, just to be on the safe side. After all, those brown eyes might be able to stop him in midsentence.

Reason kept telling him that it had been a very, very bad idea to invite Spencer in the first place but the small voice reassured him that it was going to be all right. Nothing would happen. They'd just have dinner together. People did that. And hopefully, it would make Reid feel a bit better. He was just being a good friend.

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><p>- CAR -<p>

They had driven in silence for a while. On Reid's part this was probably because he was a bit tired. On his part this was because the faced some difficulty concerning concentration. Just the thought of being alone with Spencer made him nervous, his clammy hands gripped the steering wheel too hard and his heart was beating way too fast. He did his best not to hyperventilate. To distract Reid from his anxiousness he turned on the radio.

"The time is right, your perfume fills my head, the stars get red, and oh, the night's so blue... And then I go and spoil it all by saying something stupid like 'I love you'...", sang Frank and Nancy Sinatra. This didn't help at all. He pressed the button to change the channel, and "One of life's simple joys is playing with the boys!", crooned a man on the radio. Oh no, no, no, no!, he thought alarmed.

Before he could change the channel again, Reid said "Ah, Top Gun!".

"Pardon?", replied Hotch, completely puzzled.

"The song. It's from the film Top Gun. Directed by Tony Scott. It's got Tom Cruise and Val Kilmer in the leading roles and came out in 1986. Basically it's about -"

"Yeah, I know Top Gun, I've seen it." That was good. Top Gun was a guy movie. The text of the song sounded rather gay to him.

"I don't wanna be obsessed by my desire!", the radio blared as they drove on in silence again, and reason sang along.


	4. Chapter 4

**Hey dear readers! **

**Thanks ever so much for alerting, reviewing, and even faving (*squee!*). This chapter is rather short but I just realised that it has a teensy little bit of M in it... You are warned!**

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><p>- HOTCHNER'S BEDROOM -<p>

He still couldn't get his head around it. Downstairs, just a few metres away, Spencer was sleeping peacefully on his sofa. They had just been eating cake when his mother had told Reid that he looked very tired, that it was too late for him to go home now and she had asked whether he wanted to stay here for the night. While the tiny voice had announced, "Mum, I love you for this!", reason had kept quiet. Either it was offended because Hotch kept ignoring it, or it had simply given up on him. Probably the latter, he thought while looking sternly at his plate, I'm a hopeless case. When his mother had asked him whether he was all right with this he had pretended that he couldn't care less where Reid slept.

While he had brought Jack to bed and had read him a bedtime story, his mother had helped his subordinate preparing a makeshift bed out of their sofa, a blanket and some cushions. Then she had said goodbye to them and had left. He remembered how he had felt the excitement in his chest rise again when it had been just the two of them.

And now here they were, sleeping in the same house! To be accurate, he himself wasn't able to sleep, even though he felt extremely tired. He had to think about this evening over and over again. And tomorrow he would have breakfast with his friend!

"Why don't we agree on calling him your crush.", suggested the tiny voice which was probably love, or perhaps obsession, and Hotch silently thought that it was right. He did love Reid, even if he didn't like to admit it. He approved of reason's opinion that it had to stop, obviously. He took a mental note that the present situation had to be the last time he paid special attention to his... (let's face it) beloved. Now that he had acknowledged the truth it certainly would be easier to overcome these feelings. Acceptance was always the first step to the solution of a problem, he remembered.

This thought calmed him down a bit but he still couldn't fall asleep. Finally, he got up and stood by the window, looking down on the calm and dark street, thinking of nothing but that he wanted Reid to be all right. If only his headaches turned out to be harmless.

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><p>His alarm clock roused him from a deep and dreamless sleep. He had gone to bed again early in the morning and now he was exhausted by a mostly sleepless night. He dozily pressed the off-button. He didn't want to get up. Not yet. He moaned in his cushion when he became aware of his morning hard-on. Not good. Immediately, thoughts of Reid filled his mind; how deliciously tender Reid's neck looked; how good it had felt to touch his back in the plane; how their legs had been pressed against each other; how he had held his hand. And he remembered how they had embraced after Reid had been abducted and tortured by Tobias Henkel. At that time he hadn't felt anything like love but now this was one of his few precious memories of Spencer. He closed his eyes and suppressed another moan. What should he do? He had to get up, right now, or he would be late. He had to get rid of his 'morning glory' at this very instant. But if he went to the bathroom to have a cold shower Reid might see him. He didn't worry about Jack, his son was still in bed and getting him out of it always required rather creative waking methods. God, what would Haley think of this?<p>

He swore under his breath. Why hadn't he thought of this problem before? Goodness, did Reid face the same dilemma? His mind had no difficulties at all producing correspondent images. "Don't. You. Even. Dare. To. Think. About. It!", reason shouted, while the little voice in his head whispered things that evoked pictures of himself lying on the sofa with Spencer, unbuttoning his shirt and kissing those gorgeous lips, being the one causing said problem. He had started to breathe heavily. How blissful it would be...

Eventually, Hotch gave in to reason. He climbed out of bed and went to the door. He opened it a teensy bit and glanced into the corridor. He didn't see or hear anyone. Excellent. He opened the door a bit more and stuck his head out. No one there. He sighed with relief and hurried to the bathroom, quickly closing the door behind him.

Then he realised he'd have to dash to be on time to bring Jack to the kindergarten. This thought wiped out all remainders of Reid-related images in a quite effective way.


	5. Chapter 5

**Well, hello sweeties! ****Hope you're OK and all. Thank you as always for alerting! **

**The bad news (for you) is that I'll be off to Canterbury in a few minutes (YAY! GERONIMO!), which means: no more chapters for at least eight days! Enjoy this one!  
><strong>

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><p>- HOTCHNER'S OFFICE -<p>

He tried to focus on his work. It was not requiring much effort, because there was no case on. All he had to do was to file some dossiers and to complete two or three reports. And yet there he was, standing in front of the filing cabinet for five minutes doing nothing, because his mind had drifted off to Spencer. He shook his head and concentrated on the file right in front of him. The case it recorded had been solved two weeks ago, so it went into the drawer labelled with 'April 2011'.

The tricky thing about these daydreams was that he absolutely loved them. It was a complete delight for him to think about Reid. He had to take particular care that he didn't write 'Spencer Spencer Spencer' on his reports. If reason hadn't kept him from doing so, he'd have gone out as often as possible just to have a look at his crush. He even had to prevent himself from peeping through the roller apron. Somebody might see him stare.

In fact, he stayed in his office almost all day, just going out for a short lunch, and once or twice to go to the toilet. Once Penelope entered and brought him a folder he had requested but otherwise he remained undisturbed. His team probably thought that he was working away like a madman while really he spent half of the time doing nothing but fantasising.

Later this afternoon reason began seeping into his mind again. The thought of his wife made him feel guilty. And yet, he was telling himself that Spencer would never feel the same for him and that a relationship was never going to happen, and his fancy didn't feel quite as out of bounds as it hat before.

However, he began to question his loss of self-control. He had allowed himself to be unprofessional. It made him unconcentrated, and that was obviously a bad thing. His nervousness probably came from the fear than someone might figure out why he had behaved so weirdly lately and laugh at him or say impudent things about him. And what if Spencer found out? He shuddered at the thought. Last night's dinner together might very much seem like some sort of trap to be able to seduce him. And good god, if his team or his superiors found out, what would they think of him? There wasn't only the fact that Spencer was a man, there was also a considerable age difference. If they knew he'd never be able to look into their eyes again!

Well, thinking about his problem didn't solve it, he told himself. He had to gain some sort of control over this situation before it got worse! The first step had been to accept that he had a problem. The second one was to find a way out of it. Now, how did one fall out of love with somebody? He wasn't really an expert on these things.

Perhaps he should try and fall in love with someone else. But who should he chose? And where did one get to know people to fall in love with? A bar? He didn't want to be with somebody from work, after all.

Or maybe it was better if he started with not seeing Reid anymore? How was that even possible? They where working together, after all, he was seeing him almost every day. Should he consider a holiday? It might just work if it was long enough... but with his job there was always the chance of a case turning up at any moment. Although, if he had a really bad accident he could stay at the hospital and nobody would expect him to go to work. And how was that supposed to happen? He'd have to hurt himself. Would shooting himself in the foot be enough for a few weeks of hospital?

Before he was able to ponder on this thought a little longer someone knocked.

"Come in!", Hotch called.

It was Reid who opened the door. Oh dear god!, Aaron inwardly cried and automatically he busied himself moving things around on this table so he didn't have to look in his crush's eyes. Just a few seconds later he realised that they were mostly things that needn't moving, like retaining clips. I must look so stupid!, he thought and left the stationery in peace.

In the meantime, Spencer had come into the office.

"Do sit down, please.", Hotch said and offered a seat which his subordinate took. He noticed that apparently he had placed the puncher right in front of him. Great, he thought sarcastically, that looks _so_ professional! He cleared his throat while he put it back, hoping to look as casual as possible, as if it he always had his puncher right in the middle of his desk.

"Do you want to talk about anything in particular?". Aaron feared the worst. Had Reid received the results of the MRI? Or had he found out about his feelings for him? He began to sweat and grabbed a random folder from the desk just to prevent his hands from shaking.

After a short pause in which the object his of infatuation seemed to hesitate and in which he felt his own heart beat accelerate, his counterpart started talking, "Well... yes, actually I do." Spence seemed to be uncertain about what to say next, which made Hotch wish to be somewhere else. No, please, no!, he kept repeating in his mind. He inwardly jumped when his knee accidentally brushed his subordinate's under the table. He felt a lot like throwing up from anxiety any minute.

"Has it something to do with the headaches?", he asked abruptly.

Reid looked him in directly the eyes (the tiny voice sighed with joy), and replied "Well, a bit. Actually it's about last night, when I was at your place."

F%*&! He knows!, Aaron thought and froze in terror.

However, before he could react Spencer went on: "You know, it felt so good to be with someone. At home I just read after work, or I solve crossword puzzles. Sometimes I'm so afraid of having cancer that I just sit there unable to do anything else. The panic just freezes me up inside." Spencer looked at his hands as they fiddled with the hem of his vest. "And... well... I know it's a bit odd for you, but I thought I'd just ask whether you'd mind if I could come along again today."

Hotch just stared at Reid for some seconds, who didn't seem to want to meet his eyes. Had he really heard him saying that? In his mind, reason fought something else. The 'something else' was not the tiny voice that was love, it was the part of him that was Spencer's friend. And they fought about what the right answer was. Reason advised him that he should not allow his crush to spend another night at his house, that he had to avoid him if ever possible. This obsession had to end. But friendship told him that Spencer needed someone to take care of him. He was alone and upset, and it was just cruel to say no. His friend had confided in him, only him, and he did not have the heart to send him home into a miserable and lonely night.

Thus he went with "Yes, of course you can come along tonight. Do you want to stay overnight another time?" ("How cheeky!", reason and the tiny voice said in unison, the one scandalised, the other absolutely rapt and very proud of him.) "You can come for dinner every night if you need to."

Spencer looked up with an expression of relief on his face. "Oh thank you so much! That'd be nice. A change of settings is probably just what I need. Although... I just realised that have no clean underwear anymore, perhaps it's better if I go home..."

"Oh no, you can have some of mine!", Hotch blurted, thinking at the same time that this was a very inappropriate thing to say. ("That's even cheekier!", screamed both, love and reason.) He couldn't avoid to blush a bit but hoped that it was not visible in the dimmed light.

Spencer looked to some extent surprised but then he nodded and replied "Well, that's... nice of you. In that case I'd really like to stay the night. I did sleep better at your place."

("SQUEE!" shouted love, while Aaron's insides made several somersaults.) His clammy hands still clasping the folder, he consulted his watch. "So, I'll see you around five-ish in the garage?"

"Ok, great! Thank you so much! I really am grateful for your understanding." Reid seemed to be glad and flashed a thankful smile at him. It made Hotch almost swoon.

He needed a moment to recover, then he answered "Never mind! That's what friends are here for, after all.", and very hesitantly he smiled back.

When Hotch went to went out of his office the next time to get his first coffee of the day, he hummed 'Something Stupid'.


	6. Chapter 6

**Oh hello****! I'm back from lovely Canterbury and ready to update. Thank you for alerting, reviewing and faving even! I'd type a heart but FF won't let me type the 'smaller than' symbol...**

**Warning: I'm rather insecure about the following chapter, I kind of had to explain why Reid calls Prentiss one evening and asks her to go to the cinema instead of dining with Hotch and Jack.**** Perhaps I shouldn't have tried to keep it as close to the series as possible...? Plus, the more I write I think Hotch is pretty much out of character. Oh well, anyway, here we go: **

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><p>- HOTCHNER'S HOME -<p>

Oh no, not again! He had seen it coming and yet some part of him had hoped that it wouldn't happen. His hands clasped his cushion with force and he bit his lip. He allowed his thoughts to linger on the seductive images in his mind for some more moments before he got up.

Just as he went to the door he heard a sound and winced. Oh no! Somebody was awake! He carefully pressed his ear against the door. More noise. It was faint and Hotch couldn't place it. He decided to wait a few minutes. The sound didn't stop but he still hadn't figured out what it was. Very, very cautiously he opened the door a bit. He couldn't see much, so he decided to open it a bit more. The noise had ceased. What should he do? He quickly stuck his head out of the door. He sighed with relief to find the corridor empty. Just as he was on his way to the bathroom he heard a rattling sound coming from downstairs. Of course, the coffee machine! Reid must be in the kitchen preparing breakfast, creating all that clatter.

In the bathroom his eyes fell on the towel Spencer had used this morning. It seemed to send out some kind of spell because automatically his hands took it and he buried his face in it. He breathed in heavily, trying to find a rest of his crush's odour. He smelled laundry detergent and shower gel, nothing more. He had some difficulty putting the towel back again, because together with the tiny voice in his head it whispered "Don't let go!".

* * *

><p>When Hotch came down the stairs twenty minutes later, having showered, dressed and awoke Jack, the table was already laid for the three of them. Reid stood at the sink, preparing Jack's hot chocolate. His shoulder blades were visible under the t-shirt and he wore a pair of Hotch's boxer shorts. For several seconds, Aaron said nothing, he just stood there and took in the picture.<p>

"The three of you would make such a lovely family...", love observed fondly.

* * *

><p>- BAU HEADQUARTERS -<p>

When they arrived at their workplace, there was a new case waiting for them already. Reid proceeded straight to the conference room while Hotch went to get themselves coffee. On the way back he run into Rossi and Prentiss, who seemed to be in a hurry. Together they made for the meeting room.

"Don't mess this up!", reason demanded angrily, "There's a case to be solved and you just _have_ to concentrate!", as the three of them entered. He casually handed Spencer his coffee and took a seat, while Penelope started briefing the team and showing them photographs of the crime scenes.

Soon they were on their way to Los Angeles, and Hotch was relieved that he was indeed able to focus on the murders. Apparently they were cruel enough to silence even love's tiny voice.

* * *

><p>- LOS ANGELES -<p>

In general it was easy for him to centre himself on the case. Yet he found that he always was heartbreakingly aware of where Reid was. He didn't keep him around himself since he was not keen on anyone finding out about his feelings. But whenever they where in a room together, he knew, no, he felt, where his subordinate was standing, even if he had turned his back on him. Hotch tried not to look at him too often but whenever Spencer spoke he was relieved to have a pretext to do so.

Even though their case was very unusual it was solved rather quickly and in only one day. When they arrived at the address of the murderer and found him escaping, Aaron ordered Reid and Prentiss to search the house. He knew that this probably was the least dangerous place for them to be. They might find the latest victim but as far as he knew the unsub had worked alone. He didn't want Spencer taking part in the possibly dangerous chase and yet he kept hoping that everything was all right at the house as he was driving. And therefore they almost would have missed the fleeing criminal. Luckily Rossi spotted his yellow taxi in a dark alley.

"That was a close thing!", reason declared, as they started chasing the villain again. "This time you were lucky but the murderer could have gotten away unseen. You've got to be careful!" Hotch knew it was true.

* * *

><p>- PLANE -<p>

On their way home Aaron kept thinking about his mistake in the car. He had apologised to David, but his friend hadn't seemed to mind. "Don't worry, these things happen. Nobody can be perfect.", he had said.

Hotch knew that he should tell Reid not to come to his place today and so he did. He invented some reason and apologised. However, the sight of Spencer sitting in the darkest corner of the aeroplane with his eyes closed, the window shades turned down completely, made him feel guilty and bad.

It was at that moment he realised that it would not help to see less of his crush to fall out of love with him. He was thinking about him whether he wanted to or not, and whether he was with him or not. Should he just go over and tell him he could come anyway? All the way home friendship and reason fought inside his head.

* * *

><p>- HOTCHNER'S OFFICE -<p>

Oh, all right, I'll call him!, he thought and picked up the phone. The phone went right to voicemail. "Hi, Dr. Reid here. It appears I'm too busy to take the phone. Please leave a message." Hotch hung up and sighed. He decided to drop the subject and go home. Just as he was collecting his stuff his mobile phone rang. It was Reid.

"Hey!"

"Hi, I saw that you tried to get me on the phone. I was just calling Prentiss."

"Oh, yeah, no problem. I just wanted to tell you that if you want to you can still come tonight. We are dining at home nonetheless. Or are you on your way already?"

"Um, no. I just wanted to leave the office. And I'd love to come, I don't wanna go watch a movie all on my own."

"We could watch a DVD after dinner."

"I intended to watch _Solaris_ at the theatres, it's in Russian and five hours long. I do have the film at home but I'm guessing you're not interested."

"Perhaps we should go for something else. My Russian is not as good as it used to be."

"I never knew you spoke Russian!"

"Reid, I was joking."

"Oh. Right."

"Oh, and Reid... I'm sorry I told you not to come."

"No problem. It's your family's dinner after all. I'll wait for you at your car."

"See you there in two minutes!"

"That's two minutes and counting."

"Um... Do you really have a stopwatch with you?"

"No I don't. I tried to tell a joke."

"Oh."

"I know, I'm not good with that sort of thing."

"No, don't say that! It was actually quite funny. See you soon!"

"Yeah, bye."


	7. Chapter 7

**Hi lovlies! We finally made it! THE MOMENT is here!** **Tell me what you think, please!**

* * *

><p>- HOTCHNER'S LIVING ROOM -<p>

After Aaron had brought Jack to bed this evening they had really watched a movie. It was in English and only two hours long. Spencer kept explaining the special effects to him, pointed out anachronisms and complained about the illogical plot. Hotch didn't care. He hadn't been this happy for a while. This is almost like having a family again, he thought with a little twinge of guilt in his heart. He wanted this evening to last forever.

He knew the results of the MRI were due the next morning, so after the film had ended he turned towards Reid and asked how he was feeling about it.

His crush forced a smile. "Well, the headaches are still there, if that's what you mean. Sometimes they're a bit less fierce, though."

"Oh, I feel so sorry for you.", Hotch sighed. "And how are you coping emotionally? Just having to wait must be like hell for you." He was sitting rather close to Spencer and realised that, once again, he had to pay special attention to his hands' movements. They both wanted to reach out and hold the object of his desires. Bubbles were flooding around in his chest and he felt how he became nervous again.

"Oh...", Reid replied quietly, licking his upper lip in a most adorable way. "Yeah, that does make me feel bad as well. I just want to know the results, this uncertainty is almost not endurable. Well, I'll know tomorrow. But I'm really glad to have you, Hotch, honestly. Being with you and your family makes me feel less lonely. Thanks for being here for me!"

Reid looked him directly into the eyes again, smiling hesitantly, and he felt his mind going blank again. He had locked his gaze with these heavenly brown eyes, and he had to suppress the vivid notion of leaning forward and simply kissing his crush. He parted his lips in expectation and felt his mouth watering. These eyes had completely robbed him of coherent thought. The seconds became timeless. His heart beat quickened and he seemed to have trouble with breathing steadily.

After he had found his brain again, Aaron took a deep breath and blinked a few times before he responded "And I'm glad that I can be of help. You can always confide in me.", smiling back equally hesitant.

Suddenly he spotted his hand (which, of course, had taken the opportunity to act on it's own initiative while the brain had been inactive) in the small space that was left between them on the sofa, firmly holding Reid's. For a fraction of a second he felt panic rise in his chest but then Spencer's fingers tightly entwined with his own. When he looked up in surprise, Reid drew nearer and placed a shy kiss on his lips. Briefly he didn't react because he had never even thought of his feelings to be mutual, but when he finally grasped the meaning of the situation he began to relax and kissed back.

After several seconds Hotch pulled back. His heart and mind were racing. Was this just a dream? Could it really be true? Did his crush genuinely fancy him?

"Spencer, I love you.", he said.

"I'm in love with you, too.", was the answer, "Have been for ages."

Hotch leant forward and took Reid's face in his hand to kiss him again, a bit more intense this time. The younger man came as close as possible and put his arms around him. Aaron's heart beat hadn't slowed down even though he was relieved, on the contrary, it was beating faster than ever from joy. He parted his lips as he felt Spencer's tongue against them, and one of his hands slid down to stroke the delicate skin of his lover's neck. Reid sighed at the touch, a sound that sent a shiver of rapture down Hotch's spine. Their kiss had become a snog, on and on it went, none of them wanting to part, and they hardly found time to breathe.

At last Aaron backed away a little, still holding Reid close. "How did you know?" The other's shy smile made him beam with delight. He felt like he could explode with happiness any second now. "

Well, I always felt that you're incredibly confident, that you keep calm in the most frightening situations and all that. But not lately. Whenever I was around I saw you becoming all jumpy and nervous. First I thought you're worried about me. And then I was in your office yesterday and you seemed... all bashful and self-conscious. You avoided my gaze and still you wanted me to come home with you. That did make me wonder. And then you said that thing about me wearing your underwear. At that moment I just knew."

"I'm sorry for avoiding your beautiful, beautiful eyes! How could I!", Hotch murmured and started to playfully place pecks on the edge of his lover's chin, who started to chuckle at the touch. "You... smell so... good...", he added between kisses becoming fiercer as his mouth wandered towards Spencer's ear. He felt the younger man's hand in his hair, gently pushing his head against that heavenly chin. As his tongue licked Reid's earlobe, he heard him moan under his breath and press his face against Aaron's shoulder.

At that moment the long case clock in the living room chimed half past eleven. Hotch stopped his caressing and parted from his beloved, catching his breath. "I think it's time to bring you home.", he softly said, even though the tiny voice in his head screamed in pain. ("Don't do this to me!", it wailed, "You won't survive being separated from him! Not now!")

Reid's eyes widened in confusion. They were incredibly close to his face and made Hotch's heart beat accelerate even more. "Why can't I stay another night?"

"But... but you told me... that you wanted to sleep at your apartment tonight... You know, because you have to go to see the doctor tomorrow.", he spluttered, "And... and you know that I can't take you there in the morning since I need to drive Jack to the kindergarten."

"Oh, right...", Spencer said, blinking as if he was coming to his senses again, "Sorry, I forgot about that."

Hotch sighed, and both remained seated because none of them wanted to get up.

"Perhaps we could wait till midnight before we depart.", Spencer suggested, making a very cute puppy face. Aaron stood not the slightest chance to resist it, he just nodded and they immediately went back to making out.

* * *

><p>Twenty-two minutes after twelve o'clock they eventually managed to detach themselves from each other. Holding hands, they went to get Reid's bag and then into Hotch's garage. They drove in silence, both of them struggling against fatigue. It hadn't been a very reasonable idea to stay awake for such a long time. But at the moment of their first kiss, Aaron had decided to ignore reason's voice, at least when it came to his feelings for Spence. When they arrived at their destination, they snogged for another ten minutes before Reid could bring himself to say goodbye.<p>

"Will you call me after seeing the doctor?", Hotch asked.

Spencer nodded, a speck of anxiety creeping into his punch-drunk smile. "I'll let you know right away!"

Aaron leaned forward to place a last, hopefully reassuring kiss on his lover's lips, then his subordinate was already out of his car, turning to watch him drive away. Hotch looked into his rear mirror as often as he dared, hoping to catch a glimpse of his beloved who looked heartbreakingly lost as he stood alone in the dark street, his hands tucked in his trouser pockets.

Fear gripped his heart. He would not stand losing Reid, not now that he knew his love for him was mutual.


	8. Chapter 8

**Yohoho****! (Or does nobody actually say that? ;)) Hope you're all alive and well! Thanks for your kind response so far, alerting****, faving and all the fun stuff! A short chapter this time, lots of dialogue. **

- BAU HEADQUARTERS -

"Where's Reid?", Morgan asked no one in particular, as he hurried into the office since he was late. It was most unusual to see Dr. Reid's desk empty indeed. He was always on time unless he was seriously ill. Hotchner was just on his way to get his third coffee so far but he had automatically come to a stop as he had heard his lover's name and answered, "He's got an appointment at the doctor's."

"Oh, nothing serious I suppose?"

Aaron didn't know what to respond. He didn't want to lie, but at the same time he couldn't give away Spencer's secret. In the end he went for "I have no idea.", which was somehow true. Before Derek was able to ask more questions, Hotch's mobile phone rang and he dashed into his office to answer it.

- HOTCHNER'S OFFICE -

"Spencer?"

"Hey, yes it's me!"

"Tell me, what did the doctor say?"

There was a little pause. "There's nothing showing up on the scans."

"So it's not cancer? Or multiple sclerosis? Or something else which is horribly fatal?"

"No, apparently not. Nothing fatal."

Hotch closed his eyes and sighed with relief. Then a thought struck him and he enquired, "So, why do you have these headaches?"

There was another pause. "They don't know. I was given an analgetic though. The doctor said I could take it as often as I need to. I checked the ingredients and agree with him."

"I hope that's some kind of medicament."

"It's another word for pain killer, Hotch."

"Oh good. Well. At least you're going to feel a bit better."

"Yep." Reid's voice sounded rather tense.

"There's something else, isn't there?", Hotch wanted to know after a little pause.

"They... they said there could be a psychosomatic cause."

"Good lord! Do you have to do other tests?"

"Er... yes. Yes, I will do other tests."

"Right. That's probably the best. Would you like to stay at home for a bit? I can call you if we need you for a case."

"No that's all right, I'll be at the office ASAP. Can't wait to see you!"

Even though he was worried about his lover, he had to laugh at this. "Same here!"

"Oh, and by the way, I wanted to ask how you feel about, you know, us. Do you think we should tell the others?"

Aaron was pretty sure about his answer. "No, I don't think that this is a good idea. I'm not sure how open-minded our superiors are, and I have no idea what the team would say. And what if people accuse me of being unfaithful to Haley?"

"Oh. So this remains our little secret.", Spencer sighed.

"Do you mind about keeping it quiet?"

"I'm rather confused to be honest. I don't even know what 'it' is, Hotch. Do _you_ feel like you're deceiving your wife? You said you love me but do you really? Or is it that you can't deal with being bisexual?"

"No, please, listen! It's not like that! I do love you and I want this to go on, because... because I've never had such deep feelings for anyone else! All right, I do feel a bit guilty about Haley but I just know that I couldn't live without you. Not now. Never. As for my sexual orientation I have no problem with you being a man."

"So we're not just having a fling with each other? We're genuine boyfriends? No, that sounds stupid."

"I think 'couple' is the word you're looking for."

"_Secret_ couple. But a couple nevertheless. I think I can live with that."

"Thank you."

He heard Reid chuckle. "Your place tonight?"

Prentiss knocked and opened the door without waiting for a response. Hotch flinched. Emily was pointing at a report and he remembered having asked her to bring it to him. He nodded thankfully and ended the call with a short "Yep. See you soon!"

"Anything important?", Prentiss asked enquiringly. "You hurried into your office as if you didn't want anyone to overhear that call."

"Very important indeed.", Aaron answered, without elaborating. "Thanks for the report."


	9. Chapter 9

**Pip pip!**

**Sorry, sorry, sorry for the delay, I'm afraid I was rather busy! Again, thanks for alerting, faving and all! It's what makes my day and what keeps me writing! This one is the aforementioned one and only M chapter. I **_**so**_** hated writing it, **_**please**_** do tell me what you think...!**

- HOTCHNER'S HOME (GROUND FLOOR) -

Hotch had had quite a bit of red wine with his dinner. Basically this was because he was nervous about tonight. However, he also wanted to celebrate his new relationship, even if it was a carefully guarded secret. As did the dishes, he felt a little tipsy. The sound of his son and Spencer playing with Jack's action figures filled him with joy. He had worried about his son not liking Reid but they had gotten on quite well with each other so far.

"Look, here's the Sontarans' hiding place! We must attack them at once!", he heard Jack calling out from the living room.

"I thought we were playing with the Star Wars figures.", Spencer replied.

"I always mix them when I play."

"Oh, so the Sontarans will be on Darth Vader's side? That's some enemy alliance! I hope the Jedi can cope!"

"Sure, look, they've got the Tardis and the Enterprise!"

"Cool!"

Hotch had to laugh at Reid's enthusiasm. He himself had no clue about the series his son watched and obviously Jack was delighted to have found someone who recognised the figures and knew how to play with them.

After he had finished the household chore he quietly stood in the door frame, smiling. He watched the two toying with the action figures, most likely enacting some kind of final battle between good and evil. They were surrounded by little plastic men laying around who were either forgotten or supposed to be dead. Both were completely engrossed in their game and didn't seem to notice him.

* * *

><p>Reid had collected the action figurines in a cardboard box while Hotch had brought his son to bed. He was sitting at Jack's bed reading to him a story about a little bear who had lost his red hat. Eventually the bear found his panama, and Aaron kissed Jack's forehead good night.<p>

"Dad? What will we do tomorrow?", his son asked.

Hotch had completely forgotten that tomorrow was Saturday. "Oh I haven't thought about this yet. Er... There's a funfair in town, how does that sound?"

Jack beamed at him. "Fantastic!"

* * *

><p>They where sitting on the sofa. For the last few minutes they had just been holding each other tightly, wordlessly enjoying each others company. Hotch felt tiredness sneak in his body and all he wanted to do was sit here for eternity, his nose in his lover's hair.<p>

Gently Reid freed himself from their embrace, only to start to kiss Aaron, who felt bubbles of joy dance frenziedly in his stomach. Spence's hands were already occupied in untying his supervisor's tie. Hotch was startled to find his subordinate taking the initiative but he didn't mind at all. His brain had decided to stop functioning once again. Their kisses became more passionate with every second that passed. His tie ended up on the floor. He felt Spence's hand tenderly stroking his thigh, and the touch felt exciting and arousing. He had been wrong before since the joy he felt was a bit below his stomach. Meanwhile, his lover's other hand was busy unbuttoning his white shirt; and as soon as it had completed the task Spencer covered his boss' bare chest with gentle kisses. Now Aaron had time to catch his breath again and he realised what was happening and that his boyfriend probably expected him to sleep with him. He started to feel insecure again. He had never made love with a man.

The younger man felt that Hotch was absent-minded and looked up. "What is it? Don't you want this? Am I being too fast?"

"It's just... I've never... The thought of being gay has never crossed my mind, you see. I've never been... intimate with a man before."

Reid chuckled again. "Neither have I."

"Two beginners it is, then." Hotch smiled before placing a gentle kiss on the other's lips.

"If it calms you down, I'm nervous as hell about this as well."

"Let's just go upstairs and we'll see what happens."

His lover smiled, looking a little abashed. "Ok.", he replied in a low voice.

Aaron got up, and so did Reid and their hands entwined as they went to the bedroom.

- HOTCHNER'S BEDROOM -

When the door had been closed behind them, Hotch whispered in his lover's ear how he had imagined seducing him while he had laid on this very bed the last few mornings. The younger man answered that he had had quite similar thoughts downstairs on the sofa. They fervently kissed several times before the supervisor led his subordinate to the piece of furniture he had mentioned before.

They sat down and Aaron undid his lover's tie. He saw that his hands were shaking. They started to make out again, and Hotch pushed Reid back, determined but gentle. Then he laid on him, one arm supporting his body weight, while one hand unbuttoned Spencer's shirt as they went on kissing. Their lips parted one or two inches to exhale heavily when their bare chests touched for the first time. Reid pushed Aaron's head towards him to snog him again, and started to rub his crotch against his. A wave of arousal electrified the supervisor and he moaned in excitement. So did the other man, raptly and demandingly at the same time. Hotch felt extremely hot and he got rid of his shirt, his lips never leaving Spencer's as he did so. He felt his beloved subordinate's hands gently stroke his upper body. Oh, this was heaven!

Aaron broke away from their kiss to help Reid out of his shirt. Once he was free of it, his hands stopped caressing his boss' chest, just to undo the button and zip of the other's trousers. Hotch hastened to do the same for his lover, hands shaking and heart beating fast. They separated just long enough to remove their trousers. Quickly Hotch pushed his lover on his back again, his face hovering over the younger man's, both breathing hard.

"You're wearing my underwear.", Aaron said.

Reid nodded. "Yes, I do. Why?"

"I like it."

"I can feel that!", his lover giggled.

Aaron still had that deadpan face he always had when he was trying to hide his emotions. "Good.", he replied.

They shared an intense kiss, Hotch fiercely pressing down Spencer, the surges of desire rolling through his body not allowing him to be as gentle as he had been in the beginning. His yearning seemed to be concentrated at his groin, and the feeling of Reid being equally aroused increased it even more.

His lover's hands had caressed his back, now they slid downwards, grabbing hold of his buttocks. He moaned in appreciation and began to rock his hips. The other man sighed longingly. Hotch let one of his hands slide towards the younger man's groin. Reid closed his eyes in expectation. As Aaron found what he had been looking for and seized his lover's erection, Spencer vividly tilted his head back, letting out a very erotic sound, then he copied the gesture, which made the older man shudder and groan in passion. They stroked each other in a steady rhythm, moaning, and Hotch burying his face in his lover's sweaty right shoulder.

Reid didn't need long to come and seeing his rapt expression was all that Hotch needed to hit the peak himself. Spikes of almost unbearable pleasure flooded his body as he watched his subordinate beneath him taking on a blissed-out look while his lips which were wet from kissing parted. A fraction of a second later their eyes met and Aaron felt relief overwhelm him. He let go of his lover, both of them breathing heavily.

Hotch lowered himself on his bed, his whole body incredibly hot and soaked with sweat.

"You have any tissues?", Reid asked, panting.

He nodded in response. "In the bedside cabinet, top drawer."

* * *

><p>Hotch woke up before Reid did. They had fallen asleep hugging and he didn't want to move. He felt his body feeling cold where they didn't touch and very carefully he wrapped the blanket around their shoulders. The younger man didn't wake but he let out a little whine and pulled Hotch closer to him.<p>

"Dad? Can I have my bowl of cereals now?"

He winced, disengaged himself from the warm embrace and turned around. There stood his son in his spider-man pyjamas, holding his teddy bear. "Oh... Jack! Er... cereals, yes. Of course you can have your cereals now, hon. Just give me a minute to get dressed."

Aaron glanced at the alarm clock and saw that it was ten thirty already. No wonder that even his son was awake. He sat up and saw that his rapid movement had awoken his lover.

"Dad? Is Spencer sleeping here now?"

He had feared that particular question. "Ah. Well, yes, he is.", he said feeling a bit uneasy.

"Oh good. That sofa is uncomfortable to sleep on."

"Why, have you ever slept there?"

"Uncle Sean told me so. Will Spencer come to the fun fair with us?"

"I have no idea, love."

"Spencer, will you come to the fun fair with me and daddy? Please?"

"I...", Reid begun, his face dazed with sleep. "Yeah, if you want me to."

Jack cheered with delight and as Hotch put on a dressing gown his son sat on the bed and introduced his teddy to Reid.

"Come on, Jack, let's leave Spencer alone so he can go and take a shower."

"Yup.", his son said and obediently hopped off the bed.

Keeping their relationship a secret was more difficult than he had expected. He had thought that now they where together the urge to glance at his lover would slowly fade away but it was even more powerful than before. The desire to touch him whenever he was around was even more intense and the mere idea of focusing on his work made him sarcastically laugh inwardly. He kept casting his mind back to the Saturday he had spent with Reid and Jack. Sundays he had been at a swimming pool with his son while Spencer had gone back to his apartment for the day.

Luckily he was able to concentrate a bit better when there were cases on. To be on the safe side he tried to keep Spencer teamed up with somebody else. After all, he didn't want to arouse anyone's suspicion.

Whenever they were back in Virginia they went to Aaron's home and he was relieved to be able to be with Reid again. He only managed to feel entirely relaxed, however, when they were completely alone. Even with only Jack around them he felt he had to pretend to be nothing but good friends with his lover.

After a less than a week he felt that acting almost all the time was straining him. He was relieved, however, when Reid told him that his head ached fewer times than before.


	10. Chapter 10

**Oh sh... sh... sh..., I'm late again!**** Sorry! I can't believe that you're still following... ;) And FINALLY there's some of the fluff I promised in the summary. It took me longer than I expected to get there, but here we are at last!**

* * *

><p>-HOTCHNER'S BEDROOM-<p>

"_That_ was _fantastic_!", he panted while his mind still swam in postcoital blissfulness. He fell back into his cushion which was wet from sweat.

"I thought you might like it.", his lover answered, equally out of breath.

"Have you thought of this all on your own?"

"I read it up."

Hotch laughed. This was the Spencer he knew. "There's books about these things?"

"There's books about everything."

* * *

><p>A jingling noise woke him up. He thought that it was way too early to get up, so tired was he. He felt Spencer stirring next to him. His hand searched for the alarm clock but when he hit the Snooze button the annoying sound went on. It took him several seconds to realise it was his Blackberry ringing. It took him another few to find his trousers and search the pockets for his phone. A picture of Garcia with a cheerful smile showed him who was calling.<p>

"Hotchner."

"Hi boss! Sorry to wake you so early but we've got a new case on. It's not actually a murder case but it's definitely abduction and there is -"

"Do me a favour and tell me everything about it after I had my first cup of coffee, right?"

"Um. All right. We can brief everyone in the plane. Oh and there's another thing. I tried to call Reid but his phone must be switched off."

"Oh that's no problem, I'll go and pick him up on my way to the airport."

"That's nice but I could do this if you like."

"No, it's on my way anyway, really it's no problem at all! It won't take long."

"Ok then. See you there!"

"Bye." He rang off and sat on the bed, looking at his lover. "I'm afraid we need to get up now."

"But it's Sunday...", Reid mumbled in his cushion.

"I know, sweetie. But there's a job waiting for us to be done."

Spencer sat up, blinking into the dimmed light of the bedside lamp, his expression showing that he was still dazed with sleep. "You've never called me sweetie before."

Hotch smiled and didn't answer.

* * *

><p>- PLANE -<p>

The coffee hadn't been able to wipe all the weariness out of his body. He felt headachy as he read the important facts about their case on his iPad. When he had finished he leant back in his seat and kept whishing he was back in his lovely warm bed. He was waiting for the rest of the team to assemble for the briefing.

"Is that the one where they fly around in the phone booth?", he heard their new agent Seaver say. She must be speaking to Spencer, Aaron thought, who else talks about _Doctor Who_?

He opened his eyes a bit and saw that he had been right, there stood Reid, making himself a cup of tea. "First of all, it's a police box, not a phone booth." Hotch chuckled at this. "Second of all, _Doctor Who_ started a quarter of a century before Bill and Ted even went on their bodacious adventures so really they should have just called it _Bill and Ted's Excellent Rip-off_. At least then they would've made -"

"I'm really sorry."

"For what?"

"Asking!", Seaver answered and turned around rolling her eyes.

Hotch saw the slightly hurt look in Reid's face. Immediately, he felt a profound aversion for his new agent. Nobody expected her to like British television serials or her team members but she could have been a bit more polite to Spencer nonetheless.

* * *

><p>- HOTCHNER'S LIVINGROOM -<p>

It was approximately nine thirty in the evening and Spencer was sitting on the sofa reading a book by Palahniuk.

"Mind if I join you?", Hotch asked. He had brought two glasses of red wine and put them on the coffee table.

Reid didn't look up. "Nope." He read on, not noticing the wine.

Hotch sat close to him and put an arm around his shoulders. He placed a little kiss on his lover's neck. Spence smiled most charmingly at this but his eyes where still fixed on his book. Aaron decided that he needed to double his efforts and snuggled up even more. He slowly stroked his lover's throat with one finger. Reid licked his upper lip. Hotch began to gently kiss his neck again. Why on earth couldn't he get enough of that wonderful neck?

"Aaron!"

"Mh?", he murmured without ceasing to caress his beloved.

"Could you give me five minutes to finish the book? It's just over fifty pages to go."

He continued kissing Spencer's neck without bothering to answer.

"The chapter then? Half a page?"

"Oh, go on then.", he sighed in mock disappointment and put his head on his lover's shoulder.

* * *

><p>- BAU HEADQUARTERS -<p>

Spencer was busy making himself his umpteenth cup of coffee with loads of sugar in the kitchenette to keep him awake for the rest of the day. Unlike Hotch, he didn't have much problems concerning focusing on his work. He was able to think of Aaron _and_ his job at the same time. His main problem was that he didn't get enough sleep since he was seeing his boyfriend. He didn't really _mind_ not sleeping a lot as such, obviously, he just sometimes wished everyday was Sunday so that there was at least a slight possibility to have a lie in for once. Or breakfast in bed, that would be nice, too.

"Hey kid, had a late night?", Morgan asked as he came to make himself a cup of tea, glancing at the amount of sugar Reid was pouring into his cup.

"Kinda, yeah.", he answered, not willing to explain any further.

"Oh come on, what's her name?"

Reid looked up in surprise. "Whose name?"

"Really, I'm supposed to be your best friend and you don't even wanna tell me?"

"What are you on about?"

"I'm not stupid, kid! I can see you're in love! Why haven't you told me about the girl?"

Spencer shook his head. He had to keep himself from laughing. "There's no girl!"

"Don't deny it, I'm a profiler, remember! For the last few days you've been smiling an awful lot, for no apparent reason. And every morning your lips are swollen which means you must have been kissing someone. A lot. Plus, the day before yesterday you had a love bite... right there." He put his finger on the side of Reid's neck.

Spencer swore in his mind. Why hadn't he seen that? He should wear his scarf more often! He didn't really know how to react. Obviously, Morgan had been spot-on with his suspicion. "Oh... that.", he said, just to fill the awful silence that had settled. Derek looked at him and raised an eyebrow. He decided to be as honest as possible. "Well, there is someone... But I promised to keep it a secret."

Morgan's eyebrow wandered further upwards. "Secret? So that someone is ashamed of dating you or what?"

"No, no." Or was that true? Feeling rather bewildered and confused, he looked at the cup in his hands. "I... no."

"So it's something illegal?"

Nonplussed, Spencer looked back at Derek. "What?"

"Hm, obviously not. Someone I know, then?"

Reid didn't know what to answer.

"I knew it!" And then a look of realisation came on his face. "Oh wait, is that the reason why Emily's been acting so weirdly lately?"

"Emily?"

"Don't worry, kid, I'm not gonna tell anyone, promise!" He winked and left the kitchenette with a broad smile, just as their boss came in.

Hotch eyed Morgan's good mood with a frown. "Why exactly was he smiling?"

"You'll find that people are allowed to smile, even if you rarely do."

"He might be allowed to." Aaron answered, still looking very serious, "But he was also winking! I don't think I like people winking at you!"

"Oh, don't tell me you're jealous!" He took a sip of hot coffee.

Hotch frowned. "Of course I am! You know very well what an effect he has on women!"

Reid started to laugh and almost immediately choked on his coffee. The older male tapped his back until he recovered.

"I don't fancy him if that's what you mean!"

"I know that but what if he fancies you?"

"Oh I'm sure he doesn't! He winked at me because he believes I'm in love with Emily!"

Aaron raised an eyebrow. "Why on earth would he believe _that_?"

"He knows I'm with someone. Apparently I had a hickey recently. On my neck." This time it was his turn to raise an eyebrow. "Mean anything to you?"

"Sh... really? I didn't see that, sorry!" Hotch bit his lip. "I _must_ be more careful!"

Or we could just tell everyone, Spencer thought, but he didn't say it.

"Oh, I should be getting back anyway, I'm sure everyone wonders why we're chatting so long..." With these words Aaron took his freshly brewed coffee and left the kitchenette, leaving Reid feeling slightly rejected.


	11. Chapter 11

**Annnd finally one more chapter! The girl in Jack's kindergarten is inspired by my cousin by the way but I didn't use her real name. She quite loved the boys at a very young age already... ;)**

**Note: I only just ****discovered **_**Dancing with the Boss**_** and **_**The Morning After **_** by criminalxxxmindsxxxfreak, and I'm afraid a part of my story is going a little bit into a similar direction (later). I *swear* I didn't know of them before! (Go read these stories if you haven't done that yet, they're sure good!) I'm not gonna change my story now since it's almost finished.**

* * *

><p>- BAU HEADQUARTERS -<p>

"Any new results?", he asked quietly. Both men were standing in the kitchenette, pretending to make themselves a cup of coffee once more.

"They said I'm fine.", Spencer replied with a rather subdued expression.

Hotch sighed with disappointment. "I'm sorry."

"It's not your fault, is it?", his beloved replied but he was smiling as he did so.

"Wanna have lunch with me today?"

Reid raised an eyebrow. "You mean... uh, like... like the one we had yesterday?"

"Yes. Of course like the one we had yesterday!"

Spencer leaned in closer. "Alright, but we'll go to my place, it's only ten minutes from here by car. It takes more than twenty to get to yours!"

"Do you think they noticed?"

"What? That we were gone for more than two hours? Of course they noticed!"

Hotch looked rather concerned.

"Don't look at me like that! _You_ were the one who wanted to-" Reid suddenly realised he had raised his voice and went silent for a second. "- to do it twice!", he went on in a whisper.

"You were teasing me!"

"I was putting on my coat, I didn't even see you! You basically attacked me from behind!"

"You know how I love your neck! It makes me lose control." Hotch apologetically gazed at his lover. Then he cast said body part a longing glance. The very idea of touching it made him feel extremely hot and bothered and he busied himself with pouring some sugar in his coffee instead.

At that precise moment David stepped into the room. "Since when do you take sugar with your coffee?", he asked Hotch.

"Um." Aaron looked at his cup he clasped in his hands as if he had never seen it before. What had he done? He hated sugar with his coffee! "Just today. I'm very tired and need the sugar."

"Since you're in love you're behaving like an idiot!", reason fumed. Hotch knew it was true. Giving in to the tiny voice was just so much easier. And since he was dating Spencer the voice that was love clearly had the whip hand over reason. He knew he should be worried about this but he didn't really mind.

* * *

><p>- HOTCHNER'S BEDROOM -<p>

Was there a lovelier sight in the world than Spencer sleeping?, Hotch asked himself, not really bothering to find an answer. He longed to stroke the tousled hair and the frail-looking skin but he contained himself because he didn't want to wake his lover. In his dreams was probably the only place where Reid didn't worry about anything at all.

He turned his head as he heard a faint knocking at the door. A muffled voice said, "Daddy?".

As noiselessly as he could he got up and put his boxers on. He opened the door and kneeled down. "Jack? Is something wrong?" He stroked the golden curls of his son.

Jack looked at him, hugging his teddy bear. "I had a bad dream, daddy!"

He held him close. "Oh, poor little Jack!", he mumbled into his son's ear, "Do you wanna stay here for the night?"

"Can I?"

"Sure, come in!" He saw that their conversation had awoken Spencer. "Do you mind?"

Reid shook his head. "Of course not.", he muttered.

And therefore, on the next morning Hotch found himself waking up between the two people he cared about most in this world. He was lying on his right side, holding Jack (and his teddy Christopher) very close to him and Spencer behind him had his arms around his chest. He glanced at the alarm clock and was surprised to find he had woken before it had rung. Then he felt his lover's hot breath against his neck, just a fraction of a second before he felt Spencer's lips there as well. That was what must have been waking him up... He closed his eyes again and sighed.

"Morning!", Reid mumbled into his ear.

"Hi!" He turned his head and kissed his boyfriend.

"Kissing is yuck!"

Perplexed, he broke apart from Spencer and looked back at Jack. "What?" He hadn't even realised his son was awake.

"Kissing is yuck!"

Was Jack jealous? "You never told me that when I kissed _you_!"

"That's because you don't kiss me on the lips."

"So only kissing on the lips is yuck?"

His son nodded, looking very serious. "Yup!"

"You won't mind then if I kiss Spencer somewhere else?"

"No, just not on the lips, daddy."

Aaron couldn't help smiling. "Why would you know about how kissing feels anyway?"

Jack looked rather concerned. "Hannah wants to kiss all the boys in kindergarten. I really don't like that!"

"Who's Hannah?"

"She's a girl in kindergarten."

"And why does she want to kiss all the boys?"

Jack shook his little head, frowning. "I don't know."

"Did you tell her that you don't like it?"

"Yeah, all the time!"

Aaron raised an eyebrow. "Oh dear, it looks like I'll have to talk to Ms Lencher! Perhaps she can do something about it."

Jack happily smiled at him. "Thanks daddy!"

* * *

><p>- BAU HEADQUARTERS -<p>

A few days later he was filing some documents and knew that Reid was working only a few metres behind him at his desk. Hotch believed he could physically _feel_ his presence. He took his time with the filing, just to be able to stand in the same room for a little while.

He heard a thud, and how Prentiss said "I'm sorry."

Spence's response was not as understandable as was Emily's voice since he was sitting with his back to Hotch.

"Are you OK?" Again, the answer to this was inaudible. "You just jumped!" There was another indistinct response. "Have you seen a doctor?"

Goodness, Spencer tells her about his headaches!, Hotch thought. He felt jealousy creep into his heart. ("Keep calm! It's his right to tell whomever he wants.", reason reasoned. Love was too hurt to answer.)

"Oh, I'm sorry. Does anyone know?", he heard Prentiss say, and then "I won't tell anyone."

She's not important, why does he tell her, Hotch thought.

After Emily had gone he went to Reid and asked him to come into his office. As they walked towards it he saw how Derek cast them a curious look from the other side of the bullpen but he didn't mind. Should he think whatever he wanted to.

He carefully lowered the roller blinds before he turned around to face Spencer.

"Did you just tell Emily about the headaches?"

"Um. Yeah, I did."

He looked rather stern and sighed. Somehow Reid's answer hurt. "Why would you do that?"

The younger man seemed taken aback a bit by his boss' reaction. "Weren't you the one who told me to tell someone? I just felt that I have enough secrets to keep. It didn't mean anything. I didn't want to lie to Prentiss about my pain as well."

"Oh.", Hotch said in surprise. "Yes, actually I did tell you to do that. Sorry, I forgot." He felt he had overreacted. He smiled sheepishly.

"You're smiling! You must be in a remarkably good mood today.", Spencer teased.

"I have been in a remarkably good mood for days now. The reason for it is one Dr. Reid.", he replied, still smiling. Then, after a pause he added, "I'm sorry."

"For what?"

"I was jealous of Emily."

Spencer laughed. "Of Emily?" He came closer to hold Hotch and leant his forehead against the older man's. "You don't have to be.", he whispered, "She's just a friend. Everyone else is just a friend."

Aaron closed his eyes. He felt how he was relaxing again. "You know why I really don't want anyone to know about us?", he asked quietly.

"Why?"

"Because being too close to me may make you a target for some crazy killer." His hands clasped Reid's arms with force. His lover seemed to see that he was thinking of what had happened to Haley. "I want to keep you as safe as I can. I just couldn't bear losing you."

"I understand.", the younger man whispered after a short moment of silence.

For a few seconds they just stood there, enjoying each other's closeness.

"I think we should get back to work.", Hotch interrupted the intimate instant and let go of his lover. "The others probably wonder why this takes so long."

"Yep.", Spencer replied crestfallen, his eyes telling Aaron that he couldn't care less of what the team was thinking.

Aaron felt a bit sorry for having so abruptly ended the moment and leant forward to place very gentle a kiss on Reid's lips.

"Sir, sorry for inter- oh..."

Hotch and Spencer both backed off with a jerk.

Penelope blushed, looking completely gobsmacked. "Gosh, I'm so sorry, Sir!", she stammered and began to retreat backwards from the office.

Aaron's insides squirmed and he felt very much like blushing, too. He cleared his throat. He couldn't let his press agent go away now. She'd tell everyone what she had seen! "Ah, Garcia! Is there any particular reason for your sudden arrival?"

"Um... Yes. Particular reason." She stared at the paper in her hands. "Yes. Er... I found something useful about our unsub. Sir."

"I'll... um... just go and get me some coffee!", Reid said and rushed out of his supervisor's office.

Hotch went to close the door. When he turned around again he had made up his mind about what to say next. "Goodness, what did I do? And why?"

Apparently Penelope didn't know what he was on about. "Um.", was all she said.

"Do you think Spencer will bring a charge against me?"

"A charge, Sir?"

"I think that counts as sexual harassment! I really don't know how this could happen!"

She finally seemed to understand. "Oh. You mean he didn't consent to that kiss."

"Well, of course not! I doubt very much that he's interested in men!", he sighed. "I am thoroughly surprised that I seemingly am!"

"Don't worry, Sir! I don't think you really do!", Penelope replied helpfully. "You're just not the type. I guess it was just a rather weird spur of the moment-thing. To be honest, you did seem to be under pressure for several days now." She was chatting away the uneasy feeling.

Great, thought Hotch, she did find a well enough excuse! I think I might just get away with it. ("Yes, _this time_ you might!", reason said earnestly.)

Penelope smiled reassuringly. "Why don't you talk to Reid, I'm sure he'll understand that you didn't mean to harass him."

"Don't you think he will avoid me from now on?"

"That might be. I'll talk to him first, I'm sure I can persuade him that it was nothing at all. Here, have a look at this document while I go and find poor Spencer. And rest assured that I will keep quiet about it!", she replied and handed him a list of former spy's names.


	12. Chapter 12

**Hiiii! Thx for reviewing and faving and all, it means so much to me! ****I heart you! This chapter contains a **_**definite **_**spoiler for Season 6! If you haven't seen it yet I wouldn't recommend reading on. I'm afraid it's also not very fluffy this time. =(  
><strong>

Penelope found Reid lurking in the break room. He flinched when he saw her.

"Don't worry, sweet-cheeks! I'm not gonna laugh at you!"

He sighed. "Well, that's something I guess. Did you tell anyone?"

"Me? Never! How can you accuse me of such a thing?"

"Garcia, you're the BAU's chatterbox!"

"You got a point there, usually I am. However, right now the Most Attractive Miss Chatterbox Ever is having a break. I'm being in Your Friend-mode now."

Reid smiled at this. "Thank you. And sorry for being rude."

"Never mind that, hon, there are more important things to discuss!"

"You want to discuss it?"

"Oh yes! Hotch is very concerned that you might have got the wrong kind of signals."

"What signals?"

"He realised that he did something stupid. He didn't mean to harass you in any way."

"He didn't harass me!"

"Oh good, so you're not going to sue him then. He does feel rather bad about it, you know."

"Bad about kissing me?"

"Yes. He told me he does not feel attracted to you at all."

"Oh!" Finally, Spencer spotted Hotch's plan in this. Apparently he had told Garcia that the kiss had been spontaneous and completely uncalled for.

"Well, I'm sure you have noticed that he was very stressed recently and acted somehow... different than he usually does. That must be the reason for this weird behaviour. It's the only explanation I can think of, anyway. I hope you're not too upset about it, love." Garcia looked at him with a very compassionate expression on her face.

"Well, just a bit.", Reid said and he meant it. Even though he knew now why Hotch didn't want to tell anyone he still had hoped that he would seize the chance and tell their team about their relationship. He was so tired of lying to all of his best friends.

"You poor thing!", Penelope sighed and put a hand on his shoulder. "Oh... And Hotch would like to talk to you ASAP. I know it must be very weird for you..."

"Well, I better get that behind me then."

"I'm so proud of you!", she replied with a reassuring smile.

"Why that?"

"I'm sure anyone else in the team would be a lot more unnerved by this situation!"

"I guess I am, too. I'm just better at hiding it..."

There was a sweet smile from shockingly pink lips. "I bet Hotch is even more embarrassed about it than you are."

"I bet he is." Reid smiled back and made for his boss' office.

* * *

><p>Just a few minuets later Morgan saw how Garcia and Prentiss chatted while they sat in the break room and drank their coffee. He made towards them.<p>

"Hiyay girls!"

Both smiled and greeted him. He sat on the table in front of them and leaned closer, determined to get a confession out of Emily. "Listen", he whispered conspirationally "Have you noticed how incredibly cheerful Reid seems to be? I wonder what's up with him."

Both women looked at him in bewilderment. Prentiss seemed rather tense, which only strengthened his suspicions.

"No, he didn't seem cheerful to me.", Emily answered, thinking of the conversation she had had with him before, "I think something's bothering him to be honest." She didn't want to give away his secret and didn't elaborate any more. Morgan was pretty sure she was just trying to distract him from finding out the true reason for Reid's joyful mood.

Garcia nodded in agreement to Emily, thinking of her walking in on Hotch and Reid. "He seems troubled to me, too. Perhaps he's just pretending to be happy to hide something."

Derek raised both eyebrows. "Oh really, ladies! I can understand why Prentiss doesn't want me to know what's going on here", he saw Emily frowning in what he thought mock incomprehension, "but that you're informed and _lying_ to me hurts, baby-girl!"

"Wait... you know what's going on, too?", Penelope gasped.

Morgan grinned at her. "Oh come on, Reid's an open book when it comes to emotion, he can't hide anything from me!"

"What are you two on about?", Prentiss asked, still bewildered, "The only reason I can think of why Reid's troubled is that he's been called to Hotch's office an awful lot today. I don't want to be in his shoes, whatever they are talking about..."

"Prentiss, I told you, he's not bothered by it at all! He's in love, nothing is going to bother him now!" Morgan wiggled his eyebrows at her.

Emily wanted to say "Wait, he's in love?", but Garcia beat her and squeaked, "Oh, you really think they're in love? And I wondered why he was so calm about talking to Hotch! How adorable!"

"_What_ are you talking about?", Prentiss asked again. She was pretty sure this hadn't to do anything at all with headaches.

Derek couldn't stop grinning at her. "Stop hiding! Don't pretend you don't know! He practically told me everything. Now I know what you've been up to all this time..."

"What?", Prentiss piped up again, not understanding anything.

Garcia whispered, "So you're in this, too! I guess the whole team must know by now then..."

"But-", Emily started, irritated by Morgan's unwavering grin.

Penelope leaned closer, explaining, "You see, he's been talking to Hotch all this time-"

"Because Hotch must have spotted it right away! Reid is always being too obvious, he can't hide a thing even if you asked him to do so.", Morgan added.

"Hotch must be so cross with him!", Garcia giggled. "Giving the secret away like this."

Morgan's grin widened. "Poor Reid..."

Then they saw Rossi appear at the door frame. "We're giving the profile. Are you coming?"

"We've got to go to work, ladies!", Morgan announced.

"Wait-", Emily began again.

"Come on, let's go!", Garcia interrupted her with a sigh and got up.

Prentiss stared at the back of Morgan's head as both agents left the room. "What?", she repeated, even if she knew that nobody could hear her. She was still not understanding what they had been talking about. To her, Reid had seemed troubled, certainly not in love. And why had Morgan been grinning at her like she knew something? Then the realisation dawned on her and she almost spilled her coffee. God no, it couldn't be, could it? He was not in love with _her_? She remembered how Reid had tried to ask her out once. Was it really possible? Oh dear... How could she not have realised it? Well, she sighed, she clearly had had other things on her mind recently. And nothing about this new development would make her change her decision. She would leave, had to, to protect her team. This was about her and Ian and nobody else would die for her.

* * *

><p>And then Emily was gone. In the middle of their current case she had suddenly vanished. Of course they started to look for her as soon as they had found out about it and everyone did their best. However, Hotch knew that the prospect of not knowing what had happened to Prentiss was worrying his team more than they showed. They where determined but their task strained them. He and Reid always arrived home late, falling asleep as soon as they laid down, and getting up again after only six or seven hours of sleep. He had asked his sister-in-law Jessica to take care of Jack for two weeks.<p>

Finding Prentiss didn't make things better. Emily had been stabbed and had died. At least that's what he and JJ were told to tell his team. In fact she had survived but she was officially declared dead for her own safety. Every time Hotch saw one of his team members grieve he wanted to tell them the truth. Only his firm sense of duty kept him from doing so.

His conscientiousness was put to an even more acid test as he lay in bed this night, tightly holding a sobbing Reid. Should he tell him? He didn't want to lie to his lover but it would be the first time he broke a strict order from a superior. He also knew that if Spencer knew, he'd want to tell the whole team. He couldn't let this happen because the more people knew about Emily's survival the quicker her enemies were able find her. He didn't have the heart to force another secret on Reid. He knew the younger man already struggled with hiding their relationship and his concern about the headaches. Hotch realised that however he decided, none of the choices he'd make was entirely right. Whether he told Spencer or not, the decision would inwardly tear himself apart.

In the end he chose not to tell his lover even if he hated lying to him. He loved Reid more profoundly than he had loved anyone before in his life and he had wanted this new relationship to be pure, honest and right in every way. It hurt so much that he wasn't able to manage this seemingly simple task. He had silently begun to weep as well.


	13. Chapter 13

**Hi lovlies! ****Thanks again for the reviews, the faving and the alerting! Now the story's getting very different from the rest of Season 6.**

**Oh, and 10 points for those who spot the Torchwood-moment =)**

* * *

><p>- HOTCHNER'S LIVINGROOM -<p>

Prentiss being seemingly dead cast a shadow on all of the team members. Hotch had asked for a holiday for all of them since he was aware they needed a break. He managed to get them four weeks off. In any other situation he would have been happy about such a long time-out. It meant that he had time for Jack, and for Spencer, too. But now his lover seemed dreadfully sad and absent. There seemed to be an invisible wall between them.

Wednesday of the second gloomy week he thus suggested going on a trip and to his surprise Reid accepted.

"It'll be good for both of us to get away for a bit and take our minds off the recent events.", he explained when Aaron asked why.

It was not very late yet. Hotch had just returned from putting Jack to bed. Spencer sat on the armrest of the sofa. He was smiling diffidently at his lover but his hollow eyes and pale skin made him look heartbreakingly sad and miserable.

Hotch automatically went closer to hold him, hoping that it would make Spencer feel better. "You haven't slept well, have you?", he asked, resting his chin on the other man's head.

Reid shook his head. "The thought of Prentiss keeps haunting me. And..."

"There's something else?"

Spencer sighed. "You know I've been to several doctors because of my headaches."

Hotch flinched and felt the monumental and limitless fear of losing his beloved coming back into his heart. It made him inwardly go cold. "I thought you told me they were getting better.", he replied hoarsely.

"Well, sometimes they do. But the thing is, none of the doctors could figure it out. None! I'm just so afraid it could be schizophrenia. Some parameters fit! I'm the right age. It's exactly when schizophrenic breaks happen."

Aaron swallowed and closed his eyes. "What can I do to help?"

"Just be there! Being with you makes me feel safe. Hold me when I'm afraid."

"Do you really wanna go away?"

"Yes, please! Let's go to some beach and lie in the sun all day. It will be nice."

"You want to lie on a beach? You? Don't you want culture and all that?"

"Not now. I want to stop thinking."

"Don't say that."

"Well... perhaps a little culture. And I don't wanna go to a place where everyone just parties and gets drunk."

"Do I look like someone who parties all night?"

Spencer looked him in the eyes, smiling disarmingly, and said "Oh yes, you do, you sexy thing!" before he kissed him.

* * *

><p>Later that night they where sitting on the sofa watching the late night news. Spencer was holding his lover close and his head rested on the older man's shoulder. Hotch enjoyed the warmth and the closeness. He was not fully taking in the news.<p>

"I told mum about us.", he announced. "I hope you don't mind."

He saw Reid smile. "Why would I?" Then his lover lifted his head and looked straight into his eyes. Aaron's brain went on stand-by. His heart was beating extra fast, probably because it tried to make his mind work. "What did she say? Does she mind you liking men?", Reid asked.

His brain went back on again but it still needed a second to analyse the meaning of Spencer's words. "Ah no, actually not at all. She's just glad that I'm happy." He paused. Then he added, "And it's not men in general, you know. It's just you. There's only you."

It was the first night they made love again since Emily's disappearance.

The next morning Hotch called the FBI headquarters and informed them that he and Dr. Reid were going away on a holiday. They had agreed on the fact that they didn't want to be reminded of one of their cases by the place they went to. In America they had had to solve cases in most states and therefore they went for Europe.

* * *

><p>- PARIS -<p>

They left the next Friday after Jack had had his last day in kindergarten. First, they spent a few days in Paris. After being jet-lagged for two days, Reid led them through a part of the Louvre, making Jack feeling incredibly bored with elaborate comments on the objects and paintings they saw. Hotch treated his son to two big bowls of ice cream afterwards to make up for it. So much for no culture, he thought. Later he went to the Bois de Vincennes, a beautiful zoo, with Jack, while Spencer visited the Musée d'Orsay.

* * *

><p>- HOTEL ROOM, PARIS -<p>

Aaron was just reading a novel as his lover came out of the bathroom and started to unbutton his shirt. He was all lost in thought and didn't seem to notice that Hotch was looking at him over the rim of his book. His now half open shirt revealed a mostly hairless, rather pale chest. Aaron's eyes riveted on the muscles of his throat, the tantalising side of his neck. The shirt was almost wholly unbuttoned and shadows danced on Reid's chest as he turned around to take it off and fold it neatly before he put it into the laundry basked. Then he undid his trousers and removed them as well to reveal his slender legs. He turned his back on Hotch and set out for the bathroom again.

"Oi, where are you going?"

Spencer disappeared from view. "Brushing my teeth, why?"

"Why would you do that?"

"Because it's a basic prophylactic method to avoid various diseases of the teeth like caries, and halitosis." A clattering sound came from the bathroom.

"That's not what I meant. First you undress in front of me and then you go into the bathroom again! Couldn't you brush your teeth _before_ you start teasing me?"

"I washn't aware of the fact that I wash teashing wou."

"For hell's sake, you were stripping! Right in front of me! Don't brush your teeth now, come back!"

"Shush gimme a minute!"

"No I won't!", he said with determination in his voice and got up just to follow his boyfriend into the bathroom. "And I noticed that you're wearing your own underwear!"

"Tha'sh what people do!", Spencer replied, firmly gripping his toothbrush.

Hotch stood behind him and put his arms around him. "It's not what _you_ do!", he mumbled into the younger man's right shoulder blade.

"Aaron, if I ushed wour boxer shortsh all the time wou'd have to wash wour dirty laundry a lot more!"

"Then I _will_ wash them more often!" He started gently kissing that beloved neck right in front of him. "Come to bed!"

"If wou let go of me I'd be able to finish my oral hyshiene which ish nesheshary before I can go to bed!"

Hotch laughed to himself and let go of his lover.

* * *

><p>- FRANCE -<p>

The next day they went up the Eiffel Tower, and in the late afternoon they already left for Cannes. There they spent a wonderful ten days lying in the sun, building sandcastles with Jack, and eating fish. Hotch felt rather uneasy when Reid held his hand for the first time in public. When he realised that nobody cared he began to relax, though, and by the end of the week he didn't even mind overtly kissing – although he always made sure Jack didn't look in their direction.

He saw that the idea to go to France had been good for Spencer. He still didn't sleep well and he continued worrying about his possible mental illness but at least they didn't have to hide their relationship there. Hotch knew how much this mattered to his lover.

On their stopover in Paris Reid bought himself a 'National Geographic' in German. "I haven't read something in German for ages.", he declared when they sat in the aeroplane, and soaked himself in the magazine for the next hour. Aaron smiled. There was good old Reid back, the one who was interested in learning and culture, and, most importantly, who wanted to _think_ again.

Their good mood was damped a little when they arrived in Quantico and learned that they had to start working right away since another murder case had turned up. Luckily Jack's aunt Jessica consented to look after him for the weekend.


	14. Chapter 14

- BAU HEADQUARTERS -

Aaron wondered whether the team knew that he had been on holiday with Reid. Penelope cast him a curious look as he entered the meeting room but she didn't ask any questions. Of course, he thought, she has access to all our holiday addresses! He hadn't thought of this before. It was likely she had realised that his and Spencer's address was exactly the same. Although, he silently hoped, it was also possible she hadn't even looked at the information, or that she was too concerned with coping with Emily's death to spot the resemblance.

"We've got two bodies in Birmingham, Alabama.", Penelope started the briefing. "They've been identified as Carter Blake, 29, from Dallas, and Henry Rathfield, 25, a tourist from Cambridge, England. As far as we know they weren't acquainted." While she spoke she used the laser pointer to indicate the respective pictures. Both men were rather handsome but they had ugly red and blue marks on their throats. Someone had strangled them.

"It seems the murderer chose the victims at random, although he seems to have a type.", Morgan remarked.

Penelope went on, "Both men were found on a rubbish dump. They were both abducted from their hotel rooms in Birmingham, tortured and before they died they were forced to make a phone call. Blake called his mother, and Henry his girlfriend."

"Do we know anything about these phone calls? Have they been recorded?", Hotch interrupted.

"Here's the thing. Strangely enough the unsub was taping the torturing and the calls. What he did was televised live into the police station and as soon as the police realised what was going on they started recording it. That's why we know exactly what happened to them. They had to read out a written note from the murderer when they called their loved ones."

"He's playing with the police!", Rossi said. "It seems to please him that we know what he does while we have to watch helplessly. Can the signals be traced back?"

"I'm afraid not. It can only be done when the unsub is transmitting his film and with all respect, the Birmingham police force does not have a Penelope Garcia in their team."

"Have we identified the unsub yet?", Hotch asked.

"No, he's wearing a mask when he tortures the victims. He does have a local accent though.", Penelope replied.

"Well, I think we can discuss the rest of the case on our way.", Aaron concluded the discussion.

* * *

><p>- PLANE -<p>

A while after they had considered possible assumptions about their case Hotch's hopes of nobody knowing about his holiday with his lover were abated. Morgan came toward him in a quiet moment and said, "I heard you've been to France."

"Um. Yes, I was. Paris and Cannes, it was very nice and sunny. Jack loved it."

"Sounds great. I wondered... It's just... Why did you go with Reid?"

He shrugged, hoping to look casual and calm. "Oh you know, it was a spur of the moment decision to ask him, really. I knew that he's got no one and I kind of didn't want him to be all alone for a month. Not after what happened with Emily." He thought that this sounded like a normal thing to do. "And I do remember you've been on holiday with a friend from work, too.", he added with a smile.

"Well, I was, but that was Elle. Who wants to go on a holiday with Reid? I bet he was in museums all day, reading books in French and lecturing forever on local history."

Hotch forced a smile. "It wasn't that bad, really. As you can see he got tanned which proves he was on the beach as well. And he found someone who is interested in the same TV series as he is: Jack."

Morgan chuckled. "So you didn't get the full blast then."

"Nope.", Hotch replied tersely. He didn't like the way Derek spoke about Spencer. They were supposed to be friends after all!

Their conversation was interrupted by Penelope calling out before he could express his anger though. She had received the recordings of the unsub's self made movies. As he was watching them he kept wondering what the other team members thought of him. Did anyone suspect him? Penelope might well do so but had she told anyone?

* * *

><p>- HOTEL (BIRMINGHAM) -<p>

Due to the jetlag they both lay awake for quite a while that night in Reid's hotel room. Hotch was crushed tightly against Spencer, feeling the other man's heart beat slowly against his chest. His hand was affectionately but absentmindedly stroking the delicate skin of the side of his lover's neck which he was so utterly obsessed with.

Both were pondering on their respective sorrows. Aaron asked himself whether he should have been more careful with their holiday. It worried him that someone might have found out about him and Reid. It made him feel uneasy and tried to think of something else. For a while he was contemplating whether he should leave now so no one was able see him leave in the morning. Then his mind was cast back to his lover's fear of being schizophrenic. He tried to figure out a way to put his beloved out of his misery but it was to no avail. Was Spencer really being drawn into that dark and fearful place? It made him feel sick not being able to help him. Panic closed its ice-cold hand around his heart. In the last few weeks he had sometimes woken up from nightmares in the middle of the night, being drenched in sweat and feeling just as afraid as he was now. Then he would hold his sleeping lover, like a teddy bear, but a living one, that was important, because he'd lay his head on Spencer's chest to feel his heart beat. In these moments that steady, reassuring sound was the only thing that was able to calm him down again.

Meanwhile Spencer wondered why his lover was so keen on keeping their relationship a secret. They obviously were mad about each other and yet Aaron seemed to fear his friends' scorn. Did love scare him? Why was he so anxious about hiding what was supposed to be the most beautiful thing in the world?

Hotch sighed and closed his eyes. Perhaps the best thing he could do was just to be there for his lover, being the person he could talk to, and someone who took his mind off his problems for a while. He looked at Reid, who had his eyes open but appeared lost in thought, probably very clever thought though, and smiled, for whenever he saw Spencer he felt the urgent need to smile. The mere sight of the young agent created a bubble of joy inside his chest which he had to forcibly suppress every time they were in company.

The young man stirred as he noticed his lover's steadfast gaze, and looked him in the eyes. "Hey, still not sleeping?", he smiled.

"I'm not tired.", Hotch answered with such a fond expression Spencer had never seen before.

"Me neither. That's probably because at home it's only eleven p.m."

Aaron began placing tender kisses all over his lover's face.

"Honey..."

"Hm?", he growled into Reid's temple, breathing in his smell.

"We really should try to sleep."

"I'm – just – kissing – you.", he murmured as he moved towards the corner of Spencer's mouth.

"Which will, eventually, lead to us having sex. You know that exactly!"

His lips wandered down the throat. "Don't – be so – sure – about – that..."

"Aaron, you're a sex addict!"

He stopped kissing his lover's shoulder and fixed his gaze on his eyes instead. "What?"

"You are, and you know it!"

He raised an eyebrow. "Well, maybe you're right. I haven't heard you complaining about it so far though!"

"Oh, I'm not complaining!"

"Good!" He put his hand on the shoulder he just had kissed and pressed his lover on his back, to be able to roll onto him. He was hovering above Spencer, propped up on his elbows, his face only a mere inch from the young man's. "Cause I want you! Right now! If that's all right with you..."

"Yeah, sure... It's just that we'll be wasted tomorrow if we're doing it now..."

"Sh!" He silenced his boyfriend by kissing him fiercely.

"SSA Aaron Hotchner should be thinking of his work, at least sometimes..."

He smiled. "He does that often enough! Besides, SSA means 'Sex-with-Spencer-Addict'. At least when it comes to me!"

Reid snorted with laughter.


	15. Chapter 15

**Darlings, darlings, thank you so much for your amazing feedback so far, I do love you ****so much for it! Now we're moving from the 'romance' genre to the 'crime' genre... Sorry, it's a little short this time but the next one is going to be longer again.**

* * *

><p>- HOTEL (BIRMINGHAM) -<p>

When Hotch woke up he was still entirely entangled with his boyfriend and the blanket. He looked at the alarm clock and realised it was only eleven minutes to four in the morning. What had woken him? Well, now he was awake he could as well go into his own room. Carefully he freed himself from the warm embrace. As noiselessly as possible he collected his clothes that were strewn in all corners of the room and got half-dressed. On his bare feet he sneaked out and hastened into his own room.

As he put his clothes on a chair next to his perfectly made bed he noticed that he had forgotten his watch in Spencer's room. He cursed under his breath and made his way back again. Only when he was a few steps away from Reid's door without a key he realised he had no access to the room.

The second thing he realised was that the door handle was lying on the floor. Upon closer inspection it became apparent that the lock had been violently broken open. He put a hand on the door and it opened at the touch, shrieking slightly as it did so. With a sinking feeling he stepped into the room. He regretted that he had no gun with him but he didn't want to go and get it.

Spencer was not on the bed. Hotch saw the window being wide open. He remembered that they had opened it only a bit a few hours ago because the room had smelt of sweat and love. He peeked through it but nothing moved in the dark of the night. He looked into the bathroom, under the bed and in even the wardrobe but his lover was nowhere to find. Nor was there any trace of an intruder. Everything was left as he remembered it. He felt himself panicking and for a moment he just couldn't think of anything to do. Finally he remembered that he was a FBI agent. If not he, who else would be able to help?

Hotch ran to Rossi's room which was the closest and frantically knocked. It took him a while to awaken the agent. David looked very tired when he opened the door in his dark blue pyjamas.

"Yes?", he just said.

"Quick, someone broke into Reid's room and he's disappeared."

Rossi didn't ask any questions, he just followed Hotch to Spencer's hotel room and took in the empty chamber for several seconds. "You've looked everywhere?"

Hotch nodded curtly. "I walked along the corridor and saw the broken lock."

"I'm afraid the evidence points to the fact that someone has abducted him. Have you tried calling him?"

"Oh no, I came straight to your room! I didn't think of that. Let's try to get him on the phone and if he doesn't answer it we'll wake the rest of team."

This time it was David's turn to nod. Silently they went to his room and Hotch used his friend's phone to call Spencer. After a few seconds the answer machine came on. Aaron left a message for Reid just to be on the safe side. Then he and Rossi went to inform the other team members of the incident.

* * *

><p>- BIRMINGHAM POLICE OFFICE -<p>

While the BAU team was on their way to the Birmingham police station a CSI team came to inspect Spencer's room and a task force looked for him in the hotel's vicinity. Everyone tried to do their best but at eight in the morning nothing new had turned up. Hotch was absolutely horrified and even if he knew his fright was keeping him from focusing on the work he simply couldn't calm down.

"Excuse me, Sir.", a police officer said to him as he sat at a table, face resting in both hands.

"Yes?"

"We know what happened to Dr. Reid, and it appears he's still alive."

A rush of relief went through Hotch's body. "What have you found?"

"Come with me.", the officer answered and let the BAU supervisor into another room. It had a big flat screen television on one wall and as Aaron realised what he saw on the screen the fear in his heart was right back.

There was Spencer, wearing only a pair of boxer shorts, tied to a chair. He seemed to be unconscious. Hotch gulped when he noticed that they where his own boxer shorts. Next to Reid stood a tall man wearing a mask. He was carrying a metal bar with him. It must be their unsub! Of course, Reid perfectly fit his victimology. Behind him the other team members came in.

"Penelope, can you trace the signal?"

"I'm on it, boss!", she replied and turned on her heels.

"Morgan and Seaver, you go to the rubbish dump and after the CSI have finished with Reid's room you can investigate the latest crime scene. Try to find out who the victims represent for the unsub and what it means that he tortures them. Why does he make them call someone? Rossi and I will try to focus on the unsub's behaviour." He realised that with Prentiss and JJ gone and Reid abducted there were only five of the BAU team left.

On the screen the murderer had begun to hit Spencer with the metal bar. The sight made him sick and yet he didn't want to leave the room because the live recording was the only possibility of knowing what happened to his lover.

Not long afterwards he was sitting at a table with Rossi. He was busy looking through files of people with a history of animal torture or who had been tortured or abused by their parents. It was a big pile of files to go and yet it seemed the only trace they had. Penelope was recklessly working way in her computer room but she had said it was very difficult to follow the signal since it transmitted a lot of data and the unsub obviously was rather clever.

"Do you think this has been a random abduction?", Rossi asked.

"I guess so. Why?"

"Reid is a FBI agent after all. It could be a message from the unsub that not even we can track him down."

"Yes but how could he have known that Spencer is working for the FBI? He always wore casual clothes since we arrived in Alabama. If the unsub was aware of this he either has access to top secret information or he has met Reid when we worked on this case."

Rossi opened his mouth to reply but then he seemed to see something behind Hotch and shouted, "Oh no, he's making him call someone!"

Hotch turned around. Shocked he saw how Reid had several wounds all over his upper body. "They've already got to the call? But that means he's going to kill Spencer afterwards!" The realisation made him inwardly go cold with panic. He hat to take a firm grip on the table in order not to simply faint.


	16. Chapter 16

- BIRMINGHAM POLICE OFFICE -

David had turned the volume of the television up so that they could hear what the unsub and Reid were saying.

"Go on, you'll have _someone_!"

Spencer shook his head in response.

The villain took a gun from a holster on his hips and pointed it at his victim.

"Tell me whom you want to call or I'll shoot you right now."

"You're going to kill me anyway." Spencer's voice was hoarse.

Hotch took his Blackberry and called Penelope to ask how far she had gotten with tracing the signal. "Almost there, Sir, he's somewhere in East Birmingham. Give me some minutes and I can tell you exactly where he is."

"Ok, thank you. We must make it time! The unsub is making Reid call someone.", Hotch replied with a strained voice and hung up.

"Come on! There must be someone you trust more than anyone else in this world!", the unsub shouted.

"No, no, don't make him angry!", Hotch whispered.

"Well then... I'd like to call Aaron Hotchner."

Aaron's heart missed a beat.

"Who's that?"

"My boss."

"Your boss? You're in the most horrible situation of your life and you want to call your _boss_? I don't think so! There must be someone you trust more than him!"

"Um... the thing is... He's also my lover but we're keeping this a secret."

Hotch's heart seemed to skip several beats this time. Rossi must have heard this very clearly. Could the earth please create a huge crack just beneath him and swallow him? Like, right now?

"Of course!", his fellow agent exclaimed. "The unsub has no idea who you are! He doesn't know that you're watching and that Reid knows all about his MO! The unsub thinks Reid is calling the person he trust the most, not the police. We can easily trace back the signal of this call as long as we can equip your phone with the right technology! We just need the call to be long enough. I'll go and inform Garcia."

"I don't believe it, I caught a bloody poof! Well, you'll die just like the others, won't you, little pretty boy? Do you have the number on your phone?", the murderer asked Reid on the screen.

"Um. No. I'll need to call the directory enquiries service."

He's buying us time!, Hotch realised. So he did have a plan!

The unsub entered the number of the hotline and held the phone to Spencer's ear. With his other hand he held the note which he wanted his victim to read. "One word out of order and I'll shoot you!", he threatened.

A few seconds passed. "Er... Hello, Dr. Reid here. I need the number of Aaron Hotchner, living in Quantico, Virginia."

The voice on the other end was inaudible.

"Yes, that's the one!"

At that instant Rossi was back with Penelope who had a chip she quickly inserted in Hotch's mobile phone. Then she connected the phone to her laptop and sat down, frantically typing away. After several seconds she said, "We're ready to track!"

It was just in time, since they heard Spencer say, "The mobile phone number, please, he's not in his office now. Can you connect me?"

Only seconds later Aaron's Blackberry rang. A photograph of Reid appeared on its screen. Hotch felt a bit nauseous as he saw his joyful smile on the image. They had taken the picture in Cannes. He looked at Penelope who nodded encouragingly.

He took off the phone. "Spencer?" There was no response. "Can you hear me?"

Puzzled, he looked at the television screen. Reid seemed to be waiting for him to take off the phone but he could hear him breathe. Why wasn't he talking to him? And then it came to him: Rossi had said that they needed the call to be as long as possible and again, Spencer was buying them some seconds by pretending Aaron hadn't taken off yet.

"Hi Hotch. It's me, Reid."

They saw the killer gaze at his watch. Did he know how long a tracking device needed to trace back a call or was it just a coincidence?

"We're on it, Spencer, we've almost found you! Don't worry!"

"Listen, I'm in a lot of trouble.", Reid read out slowly. "I'm going to die in a few minutes and you can do nothing about it. The police are aware of what's going on but they're powerless as well."

"Gotcha!", Garcia shouted, and sent the address to his and Rossi's phone. Aaron disconnected his phone from Penelope's laptop and both agents started running towards the entrance where their cars were parked.

* * *

><p>- BIRMINGHAM, ALABAMA -<p>

David called for backup but they didn't wait for the other officers. However, as they drove off they saw Seaver and Morgan coming back from the examination of the latest crime scene. David called them to inform them about what had happened and asked them to follow their car. Four people, at least!

Aaron heard Spencer's hoarse voice in his hear. "I'm going to be killed and all the police can do is watch. They'll make you watch how I died, too. No one will help me, absolutely no one! I'm all alone and lost."

"We've got him and we're on our way! I'm coming to save you! Really!", he answered and hoped that he sounded confident because really he was absolutely terrified.

On the driver's seat, Rossi was busy calling an ambulance to the place they were driving.

"It's going to be a slow and painful death and you'll never figure out who did it." He heard Spencer breathe heavily. Did he cry? "You'll never see me again. I trusted you and you weren't able to save me."

"I'll be there in no time!"

"Farewell!"

"No, no, don't hang up!", he shouted. But already he heard the free line signal. He thought that it sounded very much like the sound of an electrocardiogram after someone had died. Quickly he hung up. Don't think like that, he told himself, it's not too late!

He was very aware of the fact that every second it took them to get to the unsub's place was a second in which Reid had to suffer. He felt like sitting on ignited charcoal. As they were driving he put on his protection vest and saw that his hands were shaking.

The moment they came to a halt in front of a single-family home he opened the door and ran to the entrance, drawing his gun. He didn't bother knocking, he simply shot the lock and entered. Behind him he heard the other agents follow him on the gravel in front of the house. Quickly they searched the house. Seaver and Rossi went up the stairs to inspect the first floor. He heard them call out 'Clear!' several times but they didn't find a trace of the unsub or his victim. Neither did he or Morgan. Where could they be?

"Here's a door, probably leading to the cellar!", he heard Morgan say quietly. Aaron came over. They looked at each other and nodded. Then Hotch slowly opened the door noiselessly. There were sounds coming from beneath. Both ran downstairs and burst in a wide room. It was the one they had seen on the live recording. They saw the chair on which Reid had been sitting, and next to it the murderer sat on the young man's chest, both hands around his throat. Spencer had come free from his fetter and tried to fight the man who wanted to kill him.

He's alive!, was Hotch's first thought. "FBI! Hold your hands high and step away from him, now!", he shouted. Morgan took up the unsub's gun that was lying on the floor due to the fight and pointed both of them at the villain.

The murderer had stopped his attacks when he had heard the voice. He looked at the two agents, his surprise hidden behind his mask, but he didn't move his hands. That second of distraction was all Reid needed to act. He punched the strangler's face hard who automatically let go of his victim's throat.

"How did you find me?", the killer asked, completely taken aback. He was still sitting on Spencer's injured chest, who was too weakened to fight him anymore.

"You should check the people your victims want to call before you let them. I'm Supervisory Special Agent Aaron Hotchner."

"You're in the FBI? But he told me -"

"Never mind that. Get up and away from him, now!" His voice was husky.

As the unsub did what he was told Reid looked at his boss' face and knew that he never wanted to be the one he looked at like this. It wasn't Hotch's usual deadpan face he made when he was under pressure. His cheeks were red, his dark hair stood in all directions and his expression was one of pitiless, blind and unforgiving hatred. He was breathing rapidly and the hand that held the gun was shaking slightly. The hard look in his dark eyes told him that he wanted nothing more than to shoot the man who had tried to kill his lover. If it weren't for Morgan he'd probably done just that the second he had entered the room.

In the meantime, Derek had handcuffed the murderer and taken off his mask. Rossi and Seaver were arriving in the basement as well and helped leading the killer upstairs where he was arrested.

Hotch had fallen down on his knees next to Reid. His subordinate was bleeding from several wounds and had multiple bruises. The sight made him feel sick and he felt tears on his cheeks.

"Oh god, honey!" All the power and energy that his panic had equipped him with was fading away at once as relief took over. "You're alive!" His hand caressed Reid's brown hair. "I thought I'd never make it in time."

"Thanks for saving me!", Spencer smiled and tried to get into a sitting position. Hotch put his arm around the younger man's shoulder to help him.

"Can you stand up?"

Reid tired to answer but he coughed up blood instead.

"Oh no, no, don't move! The ambulance will be here any minute, they can carry you upstairs. Don't worry, it's going to be okay."

Spencer leant this head against his supervisor's shoulder and closed his eyes.

"Everything will be fine.", Aaron whispered, crying into Reid's hair.

* * *

><p><strong>Oh, did you really believe I'd let him die? I could NEVER do that!<br>**

**And btw this is the second last chapter. =( *sniff* This was so much fun!**


	17. Chapter 17

- HOSPITAL -

"You bought me roses?"

"And chocolates."

"If I didn't knew better I'd say you're courting me!", Reid joked.

"In this case you clearly _don't_ know better."

"But I know everything!"

Aaron smiled and didn't respond. He took a vase from a shelf full of vases and arranged the flowers he had brought with him. "Where shall I put them?"

"On my bedside cabinet, obviously! Put these on that chest over there instead." Reid pointed at a very colourful bouquet that was decorated with all sorts of kitsch.

"These Penelope's?"

"Who else would send such a multicoloured monster?" Spencer smiled. He looked very pale and he still had hollow eyes. Although he wasn't allowed to leave the bed yet he didn't seem to be too weakened. Several bandages ornamented his chest. The sight of the bare skin underneath them made Aaron want to ravage the younger man against the hospital wall, so he just busied himself with arranging the flowers some more.

"Didn't you bring Jack with you?"

"He's still in kindergarten but I can bring him along tonight if you like."

"You're not allowed to visit me after five o'clock."

"I'm a senior FBI agent, I'm allowed to visit you whenever I want to!"

Spencer smiled. "Good."

Hotch beamed back. He put the flowers and the chocolates on the bedside cabinet, kissed his lover very gently and cautiously and sat down next to his bed. "How are you?"

"The doctor says I'm recovering rather quickly. My injuries are mostly external and healing well. I'll need to stay for two more days though."

"Any news about your headaches?"

"I'm permanently on pain killers, so I'm not feeling anything and I'm sleeping well."

Hotch had to suppress the notion to put his arms around Spencer. "I'm sorry."

"For what?"

"I left you. At four in the morning I left your room and two minutes later you were gone. Had I just stayed with you all this would never have happened!"

"That wasn't your fault, Hotch! If the unsub hadn't abducted me it would have been somebody else's turn. At least this way we were able to find him."

"He almost killed you! I would never have forgiven myself if he had succeeded! I won't leave you ever again, that's a promise!"

"But you saved me! That's what matters!"

Aaron just nodded. He still didn't feel less guilty but he didn't want to argue. He'd hoped that keeping their love a secret would protect Reid and instead it had been the reason for him being abducted.

* * *

><p>- HOTCHNER'S OFFICE -<p>

He was just finishing the report of their most recent case as someone knocked at his door.

"Enter!", he called.

It was Erin Strauss. "I need to talk to you for a minute.", she said with a rather strict look on her face.

"Oh, do come in, please!" He offered her a seat. "How can I help?"

She avoided his gaze for a moment, then she said, "I have found that you held back important information in your last case."

"Important information? But we solved it in time!"

"Well... I'm trying to be as discreet as I can. To cut a long story short: The forensics team found your DNA in Dr. Reid's room."

Hotch didn't answer, he just stared at his principal, completely taken by surprise. He had entirely forgotten about the forensics! His DNA must have been all over the room! And he had failed to remember to remove his watch, as well. "Ah...", was all he was able to say.

"This means that you were most likely the last person who saw Dr. Reid before he was abducted."

He swallowed. "Yes, that is most likely indeed."

"I hope you understand that this fact could have helped your team to figure out the exact time the incident happened. It might have been useful!"

"I see."

"So why didn't you tell them?"

"Um. I didn't want them to know about me and Reid."

She raised an eyebrow.

"I didn't want anyone to know.", he explained, "People who loved me have died before. I couldn't let this happen again."

"In this case I'm surprised you didn't care more about concealing your relationship. The security cameras of the garage show that Dr. Reid got in your car after work for almost two months now. And he got out of it every morning as well."

"I guess I just wasn't thinking about these things."

"You clearly had your mind elsewhere.", she replied dryly. "I hope you have learned your lesson. We need our agents to be honest to each other, at least when it comes to a case. Every little bit of information could be of importance. You do of course realise that I will have to put the detail about finding your DNA in the official report."

Hotch sighed. Usually the team never even looked at those files but since the case involved a team member they were very likely to read this one thoroughly this time. They'd definitely know then. "Yes, I do. You'd break the law if you didn't."

"Very well. I'll leave you to finish your work then. Have a nice day."

"The same to you, Erin!"

She cast him a meaningful look, then she got up and left.

* * *

><p>Only fifteen minutes after Hotch's chief had left he had called all remaining four members of his team into his office. He was very anxious but somehow he was able to hide it. Now they were all assembled in front of him, looking at him expectantly. His heart was beating fast and he felt his mouth going dry. He started fiddling with a pen.<p>

"I have asked for this little meeting because I wanted to tell you something. I probably should have done so before and I'm sorry I didn't confide in you earlier." He drew a deep breath and looked straight at Garcia. "Some of you might have already found out. Me and Spencer are together."

Ashley Seaver spilled her coffee.

"I knew it!", said Rossi.

"I thought so, too, after noticing that you've been to France together.", Penelope replied calmly and with a little smile. "And Derek was sure of it, too."

"Wh... _All_ of you knew?" He hadn't foreseen _that_ reaction.

"Hey, we're profilers after all! What did you expect?", David answered.

"I didn't notice it!", said Seaver, turning to Derek, "Why didn't anyone tell me?"

Morgan needed a fraction of a second to close his gaping mouth and try to find an answer. He cleared his throat. "Actually, I thought Reid was dating Emily. It was just obvious that he was head over heels in love and Emily was acting weird, too."

"Oh. Right. So much for keeping a secret from you!", Aaron sighed.

"Why did you want to hide it anyway? We're your friends!"

He looked at his black and well-polished shoes. "We... well, _I_ was thinking of Haley and what has happened to her. I didn't want Spencer to become the target of someone who wanted to hurt me like Foyet did." As he said that he became aware of the fact that this wasn't actually true. It was just a pretext. He had in fact been enormously afraid of his teammates' scorn. The relief he felt when they didn't start to disdain him was startlingly vast and made him realise the truth. Why had he been so very nervous before telling them?

* * *

><p>Later that day he went to pick up Jack from kindergarten and together they drove to the hospital again. As he had expected, showing his badge was enough to get to Reid even if it was too late for visitors. Nobody asked any questions.<p>

He knocked.

"Come in!"

Spencer was just having his dinner. When he saw them he had to smirk.

"Look who's here!", Hotch said.

"Jack! Hey buddy, how're you doing?"

"Fine. Can I have your chocolate pudding?"

"Now really!", Aaron chid.

His lover pretended to think about this. "Hmm. You can have it if you give me permission to kiss your dad. On the lips."

Jack looked at him with a very serious air, then he nodded. "Deal!"

Spencer handed the pudding over. As he looked up again he saw Aaron watching them, smiling. He was pretty sure that he was one of the few people who very often saw his supervisor that cheerful. He was lying in hospital, he sometimes had nightmares and his mysterious headaches hadn't disappeared. And yet, from the moment he knew that Hotch loved him the world seemed to be so much more beautiful to him. Whatever his future might hold for him, the awareness that he had someone who truly and thoroughly cared for him made him feel safe nonetheless.

~ THE END/FIN/ENDE/FINE/LOPPU

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><p><strong>Soo, darlings, that's it I'm afraid<strong>**. Thank you again for all your kind feedback of all sorts and most importantly for staying with the story till now! I hope you enjoyed it as much as I did!**


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